|
Post by mortontheblade on Jul 18, 2007 11:18:16 GMT -1
heres a question: if you find out someone you fancy had cheated in a previous relationship, would you still find the idea of being in a relationship with them as appealling? (i hope you understand what i mean there ) my answer is no. a-ha - flipping teh scenario on it's head. Your answer does it mean no, not as appealing, or no there's no chance I'd go there? it means i'd see the idea of being in a relationship with the person as less attractive. this is from personal experience.
|
|
|
Post by Fizzy Bread on Jul 18, 2007 11:18:24 GMT -1
Knowing they cheated on you because the other person was better.. It'd kill your confidence. It's not a question of them being better but maybe more compatible. Not that anyone is better than you Spozzler I know but it certainly.. well for me anyway, would be more about just why they cheated, after all, it's likely that it's something you have or haven't done to have been cheated on.
|
|
|
Post by jh1980 on Jul 18, 2007 11:18:34 GMT -1
I think it would be worse to be cheated on for a one night stand. If the other person had fallen in love with someone else then it would be out of my control, but to be cheated on callously because they just could do it then I think that it worse. Yeah you may have a point but then there is what Spozz said there about feeling "why the other person? what's better about them? what's wrong with me?" etc...
|
|
|
Post by Fizzy Bread on Jul 18, 2007 11:19:09 GMT -1
I think it would be worse to be cheated on for a one night stand. If the other person had fallen in love with someone else then it would be out of my control, but to be cheated on callously because they just could do it then I think that it worse. Yeah you may have a point but then there is what Spozz said there about feeling "why the other person? what's better about them? what's wrong with me?" etc... Spose that does depend on how secure the cheated is..
|
|
|
Post by Mrs H on Jul 18, 2007 11:19:21 GMT -1
heres a question: if you find out someone you fancy had cheated in a previous relationship, would you still find the idea of being in a relationship with them as appealling? (i hope you understand what i mean there ) my answer is no. It would depend on how much I wanted to be with that person. If they wanted to be with me, mistrusting them at all times might push them into doing it again, self fulfilling prophecy.
|
|
|
Post by mortontheblade on Jul 18, 2007 11:19:25 GMT -1
heres a question: if you find out someone you fancy had cheated in a previous relationship, would you still find the idea of being in a relationship with them as appealling? (i hope you understand what i mean there ) my answer is no. It would certainly be a concern - but if they had would they tell you?! Haha I don't mean to increase your paranoia Morton?! everyone is out to hurt me
|
|
|
Post by Mrs H on Jul 18, 2007 11:20:36 GMT -1
I think it would be worse to be cheated on for a one night stand. If the other person had fallen in love with someone else then it would be out of my control, but to be cheated on callously because they just could do it then I think that it worse. surely it'd suggest something about your own relationship, if they could fall in love with someone else.... But surely it wouldn't come out of the blue? Do you think it's possible to love 2 people equally??
|
|
|
Post by Shippers on Jul 18, 2007 11:20:58 GMT -1
I think it would be worse to be cheated on for a one night stand. If the other person had fallen in love with someone else then it would be out of my control, but to be cheated on callously because they just could do it then I think that it worse. surely it'd suggest something about your own relationship, if they could fall in love with someone else.... equally so if it was a one off.
|
|
|
Post by thales on Jul 18, 2007 11:21:20 GMT -1
we had this discussion years ago ourselves, was majority had cheated at some stage..... more than once.... and i would say most still do!
and not just the fellas, women are equally as bad!
|
|
|
Post by jh1980 on Jul 18, 2007 11:21:45 GMT -1
Yeah you may have a point but then there is what Spozz said there about feeling "why the other person? what's better about them? what's wrong with me?" etc... Spose that does depend on how secure the cheated is.. Well exactly and I have a theory I'm working on that most people aren't really that secure - but some hide their insecurities better than others. Whatever the case, when something like that happens, yes, it surely is crash-and-burn time for one's self-esteem.
|
|
|
Post by Shippers on Jul 18, 2007 11:22:28 GMT -1
surely it'd suggest something about your own relationship, if they could fall in love with someone else.... But surely it wouldn't come out of the blue? Do you think it's possible to love 2 people equally?? hurray for bigamy!
|
|
|
Post by jh1980 on Jul 18, 2007 11:22:47 GMT -1
we had this discussion years ago ourselves, was majority had cheated at some stage..... more than once.... and i would say most still do! and not just the fellas, women are equally as bad! what a cheering thought Eoin!
|
|
|
Post by Shippers on Jul 18, 2007 11:23:40 GMT -1
Ok so what constitutes cheating?
|
|
|
Post by mortontheblade on Jul 18, 2007 11:25:37 GMT -1
surely it'd suggest something about your own relationship, if they could fall in love with someone else.... But surely it wouldn't come out of the blue? Do you think it's possible to love 2 people equally?? i think you can love numerous people equally..... but, in my opinion, if you are truely in love (ie true love) with someone, you'd never risk their feels by pursuing an affection for anybody else.
|
|
|
Post by Mrs H on Jul 18, 2007 11:26:06 GMT -1
Ok so what constitutes cheating? Intercourse and fellatio/cunnilingus
|
|
|
Post by thales on Jul 18, 2007 11:26:21 GMT -1
we had this discussion years ago ourselves, was majority had cheated at some stage..... more than once.... and i would say most still do! and not just the fellas, women are equally as bad! what a cheering thought Eoin! but it's the truth Jules!
|
|
|
Post by mortontheblade on Jul 18, 2007 11:26:48 GMT -1
we had this discussion years ago ourselves, was majority had cheated at some stage..... more than once.... and i would say most still do! and not just the fellas, women are equally as bad! woman i know are worse.... ... i think i should meet some new woman ;D
|
|
|
Post by Shippers on Jul 18, 2007 11:27:00 GMT -1
But surely it wouldn't come out of the blue? Do you think it's possible to love 2 people equally?? i think you can love numerous people equally..... but, in my opinion, if you are truely in love (ie true love) with someone, you'd never risk their feels by pursuing an affection for anybody else. what if both relationships kind of happen in tandum, or one develops almost without you noticing (and that can happen)?
|
|
|
Post by jh1980 on Jul 18, 2007 11:27:04 GMT -1
But surely it wouldn't come out of the blue? Do you think it's possible to love 2 people equally?? hurray for bigamy! Why are you asking Laura?! Free Love Shippers.... but no, just fucking hell no...
|
|
|
Post by mortontheblade on Jul 18, 2007 11:27:43 GMT -1
Ok so what constitutes cheating? Intercourse and fellatio/cunnilingus not buggery then ?
|
|