Imagine me as a minstrel in the future. My rasin d’etre is to entertain the proles with songs of the entertainers of old whilst adorned in fetching garb.
This is my tribute to Richard and Judy, arranged for the mandolin
The Ballad Of Madeley and FinniganOh, as I perch upon this spacious mushroom
Let me serenade you with this tune
It’s rather long, a tribute in song
You’ll love it I know, so give me your dough
There are two legends of old
Who gave us televisual gold
Richard and Judy were their names
Bound folk t’armchair wi’ velvet chains
She was of the north, he from the south
In the early days of 80s they met at Granada
The path of love couldn’t have been harder
They dispensed wi’ respective spouse
And bought a big fuck off house
Their love was unfurled, and they took on the world
They gave us ‘This Morning’
As each day were dawning
Live from Liverpool’s Albert Dock
The weather with Fred, did fill them with dread
Since the day they did see a streaker’s cock
One long day in Tesco
Young Madeley was nicked
‘I only wanted some haricot’
Spoke the original Alan Partridge
Soon the truth he did tell
But still spent an hour in a cell
Durin’ one morning session
Madeley performed an impression
He did Ali G, no one could believe their TV
‘Is it ‘cos I is black’, he said to the world
Across the land no toe was left uncurled
They went to C-Four
To give us some more
Their niche they did penetrate
But it wasn’t too great
It left folk yawning
Reminscing o’ ‘This Morning’
‘You Say We Pay’
Was the game of the day
They helped the terminally thick
To bellow the word ‘tunic’
Whilst subtly extracting the mick
In the year of two thousand
A live audience they did astound
A failure to properly dress,
Did reveal Finnegan’s ches’
John Leslie the prick was unusually quick
The applause that did ripple
Was for the avoidance of nipple
So while you ride the sightseeing charabanc
Give praise to the God of TV and thank
That the commerative gargoyles you pass
Do not reveal Jay Finnegans’ ass
*I thank you*