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Post by kinghornet on Nov 14, 2007 21:27:27 GMT -1
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stmBike sex man placed on probation Cleaners caught Mr Stewart simulating sex with a bike A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation. Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex. Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years. Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr. Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply. "They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down. "The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex." Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police. Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'." Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink. The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan. He now lives in Ayr.
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Nov 14, 2007 22:15:16 GMT -1
Maybe he was practising his 'convert a lesbian act' (riding a bike)
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Post by GresleyRam©®™ on Nov 14, 2007 22:18:08 GMT -1
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stmBike sex man placed on probation Cleaners caught Mr Stewart simulating sex with a bike A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation. Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex. Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years. Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr. Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply. "They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down. "The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex." Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police. Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'." Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink. The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan. He now lives in Ayr. We've all been there..........havent we?    ;D ;D ;D what a fucking great excuse!! ;D ;D |
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Nov 14, 2007 22:18:49 GMT -1
does a bike have a monthly cycle ;D
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Nov 14, 2007 22:26:22 GMT -1
does a bike have a monthly cycle ;D Without the tantrums though! |
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Nov 14, 2007 22:28:40 GMT -1
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stmBike sex man placed on probation Cleaners caught Mr Stewart simulating sex with a bike A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation. Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex. Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years. Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr. Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply. "They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down. "The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex." Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police. Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'." Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink. The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan. He now lives in Ayr. We've all been there..........havent we? ;D ;D ;D what a fucking great excuse!! ;D ;D Hand on my heart I can safely say NORBNO3 ammo there me thinks  |
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Post by PASTIE on Nov 14, 2007 23:24:06 GMT -1
Too right Ro! Gres is all green and covered in tarmac. A true cyclepath |
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Nov 14, 2007 23:32:05 GMT -1
Too right Ro! Gres is all green and covered in tarmac. A true cyclepath Started on this one - Googled "broken bikes" and the best pic was titled "Mikesbike..........." Divine intervention |
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Post by PASTIE on Nov 14, 2007 23:52:51 GMT -1
Actually, this one could just run and run. I'm so pleased  |
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Post by Neko Bazu on Nov 15, 2007 8:04:59 GMT -1
"Scottish people are strange..." And it took one dry-humping a bike to make you realise this? ;D |
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Post by jh1980 on Nov 15, 2007 8:35:00 GMT -1
I foolishly remained awake to watch the end of Rob Roy last night, and am rather tired. However I am also of the opinion that Scottish people are cool now... well Rob Roy anyway, much better than that William Wallace! ;D  |
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Post by Neko Bazu on Nov 15, 2007 8:38:16 GMT -1
Rob Roy? Would that be the guy also known as 'Rab the Red', or am I thinking of someone else?
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Post by jh1980 on Nov 15, 2007 8:47:47 GMT -1
Rob Roy? Would that be the guy also known as 'Rab the Red', or am I thinking of someone else? Not sure fella. Robert Roy McGregor is this one, something of a Scottish legend I gather... There's this cool duel at the end, and although RR is totally outclassed in swordsmanship by the Englisher, well let's just say "those Scots are hard bastards!"  |
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Nov 15, 2007 8:59:55 GMT -1
oh dear Gres ;D
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Post by HURLOCK on Nov 15, 2007 9:01:59 GMT -1
Perverts the lot of them, bad as the Welsh!
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Post by jh1980 on Nov 15, 2007 9:05:43 GMT -1
Perverts the lot of them, bad as the Welsh! Shut it you tart! ;D |
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Post by HURLOCK on Nov 15, 2007 9:17:07 GMT -1
Perverts the lot of them, bad as the Welsh! Shut it you tart! ;D Could be argued you are the evil ones, as you inflict your perversions on living creature. Whereas bicycles feel no pain |
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Post by jh1980 on Nov 15, 2007 9:21:52 GMT -1
Could be argued you are the evil ones, as you inflict your perversions on living creature. Whereas bicycles feel no pain Hehe, go munch your Foie Gras Frenchy!  But aye, we're eeeeevil....!  |
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Post by urrzzzzzzzzzz on Nov 15, 2007 15:11:01 GMT -1
I know it's strange, but is trying to have sex with a bike illegal? Does it have feelings now?
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Post by CHOPPER READ on Nov 15, 2007 15:13:26 GMT -1
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stmBike sex man placed on probation Cleaners caught Mr Stewart simulating sex with a bike A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation. Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex. Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years. Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr. Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply. "They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down. "The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex." Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police. Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'." Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink. The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan. He now lives in Ayr. We've all been there..........havent we? ;D ;D ;D what a fucking great excuse!! ;D ;D He went outside only to find he had chained his missus to the gate post. |
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;D ;D ;D
