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Post by Roaster©®™ on Feb 28, 2006 15:11:20 GMT -1
Sure there must a site out there with George's gaffs on it.
Dan Quayle was another septic asshole who engaged gob before brain on numerous occassions.
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Mar 1, 2006 21:45:50 GMT -1
For all those men who believe that there's no reason to buy the cow when you can get the milk free,
nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, as they have wised up to the fact that for 8 oz. of sausage,
it's not worth buying the entire pig!
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Mar 1, 2006 22:35:51 GMT -1
Sitting at a table in the clubhouse after a game, Joe said to a fellow club member, "I'm not about to play golf with Roaster anymore."
"Why not?"
"Well, he found his lost ball two feet from the green."
"That's possible."
"Not when I had the ball in my pocket!"
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Mar 1, 2006 22:37:49 GMT -1
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.
The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on it's face.
The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says,
"Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question."
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Mar 1, 2006 22:39:11 GMT -1
A guy walks into an lift and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can I smell your pussy?"
The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!"
"Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your feet, then."
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Mar 1, 2006 23:16:12 GMT -1
A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears.
She answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang, but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But what happened to the other ear?"
"The bastard called back!"
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Mar 2, 2006 21:38:52 GMT -1
A school teacher asks her class, "What vegetable makes your eyes water?"
Little Johnny replies, "A turnip miss."
"No Johnny," says the teacher, "I believe you are thinking of an onion, aren't you?"
"No miss," says Little Johnny, "Have you never been hit in the balls with a turnip?"
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Post by Golden_Boy™ on Mar 2, 2006 22:04:01 GMT -1
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Mar 2, 2006 22:07:19 GMT -1
;D
Sorry mate - that 'uns so bad I got the giggles now!
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Mar 4, 2006 20:32:18 GMT -1
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'l take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
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Post by alidyer on Mar 5, 2006 9:38:48 GMT -1
i brought some HP sauce yesterday....it's costing me 2p a month for the next three years..
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Post by alidyer on Mar 5, 2006 9:42:23 GMT -1
try this one, in the middle of a conversation and then just walk away...the more times you do it - the funnier it gets...
YOU: Ask me if i'm an orange..
THEM: Are you an orange?
YOU: No.
(walk away.)
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Post by alidyer on Mar 5, 2006 9:45:29 GMT -1
A bear goes to take a dump behind a bush, when he gets there a rabbit is doing the same thing,
the bear asks, 'when you take a dump, does the shit stick to your fur?'
'no it doesnt', replies the rabbit
with that the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his arse
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Post by alidyer on Mar 5, 2006 9:47:59 GMT -1
a bear, a lion and a chicken get together the bear says if i roar in the forest the entire forest is shivering with fear,
thats nothing says the lion, if i roar in the desert the entire desert is afraid of me,
thats nothing replies the chicken, if i cough, the whole world shits itself..
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Post by MRMILLWALL on Mar 5, 2006 19:57:21 GMT -1
try this one, in the middle of a conversation and then just walk away...the more times you do it - the funnier it gets... YOU: Ask me if i'm an orange.. THEM: Are you an orange? YOU: No. (walk away.) Like that one ill be tryin that in work.
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Mar 7, 2006 18:16:42 GMT -1
Two elderly women were in a beauty parlor getting their hair done, when in walked a young chick with a low-cut blouse that revealed a Beautiful rose tattooed on one boob.
One woman leaned over to the other and said, "Poor thing. She doesn't know it, but in 50 years she'll have a long-stemmed rose In a hanging basket!"
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Post by Golden_Boy™ on Mar 7, 2006 21:00:04 GMT -1
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why. (Redd Foxx)
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Mar 7, 2006 21:15:52 GMT -1
A bloke walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender walks over to him and says "Hey, I couldn't help but notice when you walked in. Is that a steering wheel hung between your legs?"
"Aye!" replied the man, "And it's drivin' me nuts!"
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Post by Golden_Boy™ on Mar 8, 2006 21:27:10 GMT -1
Q:What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Nacho Cheese.
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Post by Ninja Squirrel on Mar 8, 2006 21:28:15 GMT -1
If I wanted to hear the pitter patter of tiny feet I'd put shoes on my cat
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