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Post by MozzaBedfordSpur on Oct 29, 2009 12:14:51 GMT -1
Q: What will happen if earth rotates 30 times faster? A: Men will get their salary everyday and women will bleed to death.
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Post by MozzaBedfordSpur on Oct 29, 2009 12:15:06 GMT -1
Q: Why do 90% of gals have the left boob bigger than the right? A: Bcoz 90% of boys are right handed.
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Post by MozzaBedfordSpur on Oct 29, 2009 12:15:22 GMT -1
My friend told me that if Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would be still in Paradise. Why? Because they would have eaten the snake instead of the bloody apple!
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Oct 30, 2009 17:25:05 GMT -1
I had a friend who was addicted to mud-wrestling.
He's been clean for 6 years now.
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Oct 31, 2009 8:55:31 GMT -1
There certainly seems to be a lack of imagination this halloween.Walking through Birmingham city centre this morning all the women seem to be dressed as black ghosts.
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Post by Arnold on Dec 11, 2009 11:30:42 GMT -1
Over the last month I became a victim of a clever 'Eastern European' scam while out shopping. Simply dropping into Tesco for a bit of shopping has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.
Here's how the scam works:
Two seriously good-looking, voluptuous 20 - 21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the boot.
They both start cleaning your windscreen, their large firm young breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It's impossible not to look.
When you thank them and offer them a tip, they'll say 'No' and instead ask you for a lift to another store, in my case, Morrisons at the other side of town. You agree and they both get in the back seat. On the way, they start undressing, and both get completely naked. Then,when you pull over to remonstrate, one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over your lap, kissing you, touching you intimately, and thrusting herself against you, while the other one steals your wallet!
I had my wallet stolen November 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th and 29th. Also December 1st and 2nd, twice on the 3rd, three times last Saturday and very likely again this coming weekend.
So Be Warned!
P.S. Lidl have wallets on sale for £1.99 each, Aldi are £1.75 and look nicer.
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Post by El Morto La Hoja! on Dec 11, 2009 11:35:04 GMT -1
;D ;D ;D
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Dec 19, 2009 8:59:47 GMT -1
Went to the doctors today, I said "Do you treat alcoholics?"
He said "Yes."
I said "Take me for a pint then I'm fuckin skint".
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Post by MozzaBedfordSpur on Feb 6, 2010 21:40:44 GMT -1
What do you call an African accountant?
Blackadder ;D
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Post by Fizzy Bread on Feb 6, 2010 21:55:24 GMT -1
Signboard outside a prostitute's house: Married MEN not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy...
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Post by Bones on Feb 27, 2010 15:16:09 GMT -1
I won in a cage fight last week. That fucking parrot never knew what hit it.
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Post by T C on Aug 28, 2010 21:18:06 GMT -1
does this thread not get used again
went out last night on a date ..with an agrophobiac
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