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Post by Lollipop on Mar 27, 2007 15:09:34 GMT -1
One of my friends from Uni has just found out that one of her friends from back home where she lives has died. She died from Cancer, so my friend obviously knew that she was ill and last week was told that her friend only had months to live. She rang me up and I had no idea what to say to her. I've never dealt with death before so I'm not sure how to handle it. Anything I can do or say to comfort her?  |
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Post by Ninja Squirrel on Mar 27, 2007 15:13:24 GMT -1
Unfortunatley I have no emotions what so ever when it comes to things like this I do not know what to say.
However being supportive and a shoulder to cry on is the best sugestion I can make, remebering the good times and such and listen to them talk about said things
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gt
Non League Player (someone crap, like Boston)
Posts: 51
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Post by gt on Mar 27, 2007 15:13:25 GMT -1
Just say how sorry you are and see if she wants to go for a coffee or something, I know from experience that just having someone there is a great help
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Post by mortontheblade on Mar 27, 2007 15:14:42 GMT -1
i wonuldn't know loss either...
i assume it'd best to give her space, but let her know you're there if she needs you..... at this point anyway.
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Post by Lollipop on Mar 27, 2007 15:14:52 GMT -1
Just say how sorry you are and see if she wants to go for a coffee or something, I know from experience that just having someone there is a great help Well, we'd already planned to go out for a meal tomorrow night with some other friends, but I'm not sure if it's going to happen anymore. Don't want to pressurise her about it either in case she wants to be alone.  |
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Post by Giar on Mar 27, 2007 15:15:08 GMT -1
Just say how sorry you are and see if she wants to go for a coffee or something, I know from experience that just having someone there is a great help ditto, just make sure she knows your there for her. hell she might not even want to talk about it yet that much, but will get round to it in her own time when she does |
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Post by Neko Bazu on Mar 27, 2007 15:16:45 GMT -1
I agree with GT; there really is nothing you can say or do to 'make it all better' - and I say that having lost my step-dad and seen my girlfriend lose her dad. All you can do is be a friend for them, offer support, invite them to stay round with you (that really does help, if she takes it up; you feel so much better with a brief change of scenery), anything like that. Be prepared for phone calls where they just cry, or for calls at 3am talking about nothing.
It depends how hard she takes it too, of course, and how soon she comes to terms. Be ready for anything, and make sure she knows you are though~
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Post by ITFC Dudette6 on Mar 27, 2007 15:17:54 GMT -1
I don't know about loss, but I'm thinking that I'd like someone to do this for me:
Give her a hug next time you see her, and just be there for her. Support her, and just be a good friend and if she wants to talk about memories of her old friend let her. It may comfort her or cause her to let out any emotions.
Just be the best friend you can to her really, be there and perhaps even try and make her smile.
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Post by Tony Yeboah's Lunchbox on Mar 27, 2007 15:18:16 GMT -1
Just say how sorry you are and see if she wants to go for a coffee or something, I know from experience that just having someone there is a great help Don't want to pressurise her about it either in case she wants to be alone. I think if she wanted to be alone, she'd not have contacted you straight away. She obviously wanted to tell someone though because it helped her telling someone about it rather than talking to herself in her head. She wants to talk to someone and she trusts you enough to have told you what is pretty big news to her. |
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gt
Non League Player (someone crap, like Boston)
Posts: 51
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Post by gt on Mar 27, 2007 15:18:28 GMT -1
She might still come, it's hard to tell, moods can change very quickly. When I lost my Dad, my Uncle came down and took me to the pub which was perhaps the last thing people expected me to do but it helped to sit and talk. Just keep in touch with her and be there however you see fit. I know you will do the right thing  Just say how sorry you are and see if she wants to go for a coffee or something, I know from experience that just having someone there is a great help Well, we'd already planned to go out for a meal tomorrow night with some other friends, but I'm not sure if it's going to happen anymore. Don't want to pressurise her about it either in case she wants to be alone. |
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Post by mortontheblade on Mar 27, 2007 15:19:10 GMT -1
get her drunk!
*protects self from barrage of stones now being thrown at self from other members of 606*
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Post by Lollipop on Mar 27, 2007 15:19:48 GMT -1
Thanks guys That's a big help! I guess I'll just leave her to her own devices because I think that she's going to go back home, but make sure she knows that my other friends and I are here for her. |
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Post by Giar on Mar 27, 2007 15:28:45 GMT -1
another option is a good dvd sesh btw........means she gets company from peeps who care about her, but doesnt mean she has to talk or even pretend to be all that happy
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Post by ade on Mar 27, 2007 15:58:15 GMT -1
sorry for your loss and yeah id just give them a hug and say if you wana chat and im here for ya... Or my normall way just get really really drunk after about 6 months |
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Post by CHOPPER READ on Mar 27, 2007 20:07:56 GMT -1
I have dealt with death both personally and professionally. The truth is there is no right or wrong way. Everyone deals with it differently in the end. One of my friends from Uni has just found out that one of her friends from back home where she lives has died. She died from Cancer, so my friend obviously knew that she was ill and last week was told that her friend only had months to live. She rang me up and I had no idea what to say to her. I've never dealt with death before so I'm not sure how to handle it. Anything I can do or say to comfort her? |
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Post by Teesside White on Mar 27, 2007 20:34:28 GMT -1
i assume it'd best to give her space, but let her know you're there if she needs you..... at this point anyway. hit the nail on the head there, like mort said, give her space, time, let her know ur there for her, try not to go about things differantly also importantly make sure she grieves, and doesnt keep it bottled up |
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