Deconstructing Nursery Rhymes

[gt]

I was thinking last night about the Grand Old Duke Of York (actual name unknown) and his 10,000 men. Would he really have been able to march such a sheer quantity of (presumably armed) troops up ‘a well-defined natural elevation smaller than a mountain’. I would have thought that even if he was able to get all these men to the top, there would be certainly be space issues at the top of the hill, maybe forcing them into human pyramids as a ‘makespace’ – which would be difficult with backpacks and guns etc.

I have to take umbrage with the notion that ‘when they were only half way up they were neither up nor down’. Unless it was the world’s widest hill and all ten thousand men were standing side by side, some must have been further up and down than the others. This is aside from the fact that being half way up does mean that they were in fact ‘up or down’, depending on which way you look at it.

Finally, is this really a valuable deployment of our armed forces, marching up and down a small heap of mud? Actually, given the vast amount of marchers, it’s entirely feasible that said hill was a mountain at the commencement of marching based proceedings.

I think I need sleeping pills

[CmonYouSpurs]

you have far too much time on your hands Tom ;D

[gt]

I started wondering whether Humpty Dumpty’ employers had made him study and sign a generic risk assessment before he sat on the wall, but thankfully I fell asleep

[Neko Bazu]

Much like the old woman who lived in a shoe, really!

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do.
She gave them some broth without any bread,
Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.

I mean, is a shoe really suitable housing for such an evidently large family? And not only does she not feed them properly, she systematically abuses them too!

I blame Nu Labour

[CHOPPER READ]

The old lady who swallowed a fly and then several other species wants looking at if you ask me.

[Neko Bazu]

markbrandonread said:

The old lady who swallowed a fly and then several other species wants looking at if you ask me.

I rather suspect she was French, which may mean it was alright...

[CmonYouSpurs]

Doctor Foster
Went to Gloucester
In a shower of rain.
He stepped in a puddle
Right up to his middle
And never went there again!

wasnt he watching the news about the floods ;D

[CHOPPER READ]

neko said:

markbrandonread said:

The old lady who swallowed a fly and then several other species wants looking at if you ask me.

I rather suspect she was French, which may mean it was alright...

She ended up dead for her hunger.

[Mrs H]

I have these thoughts as well Tom and it taints my childhood memories. I remember reading George's Marvelous Medicine again as an adult. Whenit got to the part with him cooking the ingredients on the stove I found myself thinking "He can't do that he's just put petrol in there!!!". Childhood over

[CHOPPER READ]

I know an old lady who swallowed a fly,i don't know why,she swallowed a fly

I for the life of me can't think why either.

[gt]

I love the poetry of Edward Lear but don’t even get me started on the Owl and the fucking Pussycat. Encouraging cross breeding of felines and wise old birds can not be deemed ethically sound, especially when they bribe a pig to act as a member of the clergy.

[Mrs H]

Hey Diddle diddle
the cat and the fiddle
the cow jumped over the moon
the little dog laughed to see such fun
and the dish ran away with the spoon.

Now either this nursery rhyme is a modernist take on family life in the 60's or the guy who wrote it liked the gange!

[Mrs H]

Hush a bye baby, on the tree top,
When the wind blows the cradle will rock;
When the bow breaks, the cradle will fall,
And down will come baby, cradle and all

And that's just bad parenting.

[gt]

mrsh said:

Hush a bye baby, on the tree top,
When the wind blows the cradle will rock;
When the bow breaks, the cradle will fall,
And down will come baby, cradle and all

And that's just bad parenting.

Indeed, I think Social Services would take a dim view of any parent who left their young in a bed on top of a tree. Unless they were a crow or something, then it’s acceptable.

[gt]

Jack could have saved himself (and our already overstretched A+E departments) a hairline fracture to the skull, and a tumble down the hill for his girlfriend / sister / mother (or all 3) by going to the more than adequately stocked Waitrose round the corner for his water rather than traipsing up a steep incline to the well. At the end of the day, you will pay the price for insisting on being a country bumpkin.

[HURLOCK]

Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack jump over
The candlestick.

[Mrs H]

hurlock said:

Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack jump over
The candlestick.

A children's story of S&M by Madonna

[thales]

mrsh said:

I have these thoughts as well Tom and it taints my childhood memories. I remember reading George's Marvelous Medicine again as an adult. Whenit got to the part with him cooking the ingredients on the stove I found myself thinking "He can't do that he's just put petrol in there!!!". Childhood over

? dont know that one , any good?

[Mrs H]

28allirelandslufc said:

mrsh said:

I have these thoughts as well Tom and it taints my childhood memories. I remember reading George's Marvelous Medicine again as an adult. Whenit got to the part with him cooking the ingredients on the stove I found myself thinking "He can't do that he's just put petrol in there!!!". Childhood over

? dont know that one , any good?

Roals Dhal book?

[thales]

mrsh said:

28allirelandslufc said:

? dont know that one , any good?

Roals Dhal book?

sorry was thinking it was a nursery rhyme i didnt know.
not read the book when younger, was more into science fiction back then!