Post by CmonYouSpurs on May 31, 2009 9:02:16 GMT -1
What do Nemanja Vidic and Katie Price have in common?
They both regret letting that black bloke come inside them.
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My wife has a lot in common with Manchester united.
She's going to get a f*cking good beating tonight when i get home from the pub as well !
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Memo to Wayne Rooney....
Harry Potter wants his invisibility cloak back.
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EMERGENCY SERVICES WARNING: We have received a substantial amount of calls from residents of the London area and the south of England complaining of tremors, thought perhaps to be attributable to an earthquake.
We'd like to assure these people that it is nothing to worry about.
It is simply the force of the majority of Manchester United supporters crashing back down to Earth.
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Can someone please start to weld the roof back onto the bus parked at old trafford.
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What's red and goes 'beep beep beep'?
The Man U open-top bus reversing back into the garage.
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A Boddingtons spokesperson said they are delighted with Manchester United's performance in the Champions League final last night.
They need a team of 11 bottlers to work in their Lancashire factory.
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How do you put a cork back in a champagne bottle?
Ask a united "fan".
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What do frank lampard and Ryan giggs have in common?
Neither were involved in this years champions league final.
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i just heard about the massive swine outbreak in Rome.
30,000 united fans sick as pigs.
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man u gave the worst performance on tv since ian huntley said "i dont know what happened to them"
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What do Manchester United and a three pronged plug have in common?
Neither of them work in Europe.
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At least now we know what AIG stands for...
Alex Is Gutted!
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Some woman goes to doctors and says "doctor doctor everytime i open my legs i hear glory glory man utd" ... don't worry madam alot of c*nts sing that
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The met office has just issued a flood warning in manchester due to 50,000 scousers p*ssing themselves.
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Maybe if Ji Sung Park opened his f*cking eyes now and again, Man Utd might have had a chance of winning.
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FOR SALE: 68,000; "We Won it 4 Times" T-shirts in Man Utd Red. Ideal for cleaning windows or wiping your dogs arse.
Phone: 016107086523 and ask for Alex
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Christiano Ronaldo - £40Million
Wayne Rooney - £35 Million
Dimitar Berbatov - £30 Million
Alex Ferguson Annual Chewing Gun Costs - £50,000
Average Cost Per Man Utd Fan For The Champions League Final £1,000
The Look On Their Faces After LOSING To Barcelona In The Champions League Final......
FU-CK-ING
PRICELESS
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For all those manchester united fans out there that are
clinically depressed about the result at the game tonight
a special helpline has been set up by sir alex ferguson
simply call
0800 2-0 2-0 2-0
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All these Manchester United fans, there all raving on about Ronaldo "Hes still the king! Hes still the king!"
Waxed eye brows, tan, hairless... I was very much under the impression he was the Queen.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nemandja Vidic feels safe and secure seeing his Shadow go behind him.... Wait thats Eto'o
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cristiano Ronaldo phones up the Guiness 'Book of Records' and asks "I would like to celebrate my apperance in the Champions League Final, what World record can I try and Break" ?
The guy on the other end of the phone said "There is one, the heaviest penis is 1.2 KG, if you just step on the scales after the match and tell us your weight because no'one has ever weighed the heaviest fanny" !
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've just heard the terrible news that Lionel Messi's house was broken into during the game....
Police have made a statement that they would like to question the Man Utd midfield, as they were nowhere to be seen between the hours of 19.45 and 22.00.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At least one Man United fan remains happy in Rome. Apparently being stabbed in the leg was much less painful than seeing his side get raped by the spanish.
They both regret letting that black bloke come inside them.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife has a lot in common with Manchester united.
She's going to get a f*cking good beating tonight when i get home from the pub as well !
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Memo to Wayne Rooney....
Harry Potter wants his invisibility cloak back.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
EMERGENCY SERVICES WARNING: We have received a substantial amount of calls from residents of the London area and the south of England complaining of tremors, thought perhaps to be attributable to an earthquake.
We'd like to assure these people that it is nothing to worry about.
It is simply the force of the majority of Manchester United supporters crashing back down to Earth.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Can someone please start to weld the roof back onto the bus parked at old trafford.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's red and goes 'beep beep beep'?
The Man U open-top bus reversing back into the garage.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Boddingtons spokesperson said they are delighted with Manchester United's performance in the Champions League final last night.
They need a team of 11 bottlers to work in their Lancashire factory.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you put a cork back in a champagne bottle?
Ask a united "fan".
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do frank lampard and Ryan giggs have in common?
Neither were involved in this years champions league final.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i just heard about the massive swine outbreak in Rome.
30,000 united fans sick as pigs.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
man u gave the worst performance on tv since ian huntley said "i dont know what happened to them"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do Manchester United and a three pronged plug have in common?
Neither of them work in Europe.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At least now we know what AIG stands for...
Alex Is Gutted!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some woman goes to doctors and says "doctor doctor everytime i open my legs i hear glory glory man utd" ... don't worry madam alot of c*nts sing that
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The met office has just issued a flood warning in manchester due to 50,000 scousers p*ssing themselves.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Maybe if Ji Sung Park opened his f*cking eyes now and again, Man Utd might have had a chance of winning.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FOR SALE: 68,000; "We Won it 4 Times" T-shirts in Man Utd Red. Ideal for cleaning windows or wiping your dogs arse.
Phone: 016107086523 and ask for Alex
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Christiano Ronaldo - £40Million
Wayne Rooney - £35 Million
Dimitar Berbatov - £30 Million
Alex Ferguson Annual Chewing Gun Costs - £50,000
Average Cost Per Man Utd Fan For The Champions League Final £1,000
The Look On Their Faces After LOSING To Barcelona In The Champions League Final......
FU-CK-ING
PRICELESS
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For all those manchester united fans out there that are
clinically depressed about the result at the game tonight
a special helpline has been set up by sir alex ferguson
simply call
0800 2-0 2-0 2-0
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All these Manchester United fans, there all raving on about Ronaldo "Hes still the king! Hes still the king!"
Waxed eye brows, tan, hairless... I was very much under the impression he was the Queen.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nemandja Vidic feels safe and secure seeing his Shadow go behind him.... Wait thats Eto'o
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cristiano Ronaldo phones up the Guiness 'Book of Records' and asks "I would like to celebrate my apperance in the Champions League Final, what World record can I try and Break" ?
The guy on the other end of the phone said "There is one, the heaviest penis is 1.2 KG, if you just step on the scales after the match and tell us your weight because no'one has ever weighed the heaviest fanny" !
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've just heard the terrible news that Lionel Messi's house was broken into during the game....
Police have made a statement that they would like to question the Man Utd midfield, as they were nowhere to be seen between the hours of 19.45 and 22.00.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At least one Man United fan remains happy in Rome. Apparently being stabbed in the leg was much less painful than seeing his side get raped by the spanish.
