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Post by HURLOCK on May 19, 2008 8:03:13 GMT -1
Saw one Pompey fan getting chucked out of our end though, that was nice... What for speaking Queens English correctly? ;D
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Post by Teesside White on May 19, 2008 8:06:17 GMT -1
hers my joke for you gres
A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?" "Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities." "That is right," said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asked. "Yes," the woman said, "you're checking for any lumps or breast cancer." "Correct," replied the shady doctor. Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, "Do you know what I'm doing now?" "Yes," she said. "You're getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place."
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Post by GresleyRam©®™ on May 19, 2008 8:09:33 GMT -1
hers my joke for you gres A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?" "Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities." "That is right," said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asked. "Yes," the woman said, "you're checking for any lumps or breast cancer." "Correct," replied the shady doctor. Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, "Do you know what I'm doing now?" "Yes," she said. "You're getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place." ;D ;D
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Post by Fizzy Bread on May 19, 2008 8:13:05 GMT -1
Congrats Gres! Sorry to hear about your nan. Joke.. Hmm, can only think of a very poor one so.. 'What do you call a guy with no shins?' 'Tony' ;d
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Post by jh1980 on May 19, 2008 8:15:07 GMT -1
What for speaking Queens English correctly? ;D Have you ever HEARD someone from Portsea Island speak?! ;D "ya gan tahn?! me an' Mar'een iz 'avin a pint in the Wevverspoons, innit?" Maybe could continue this on another thread Hurls?!
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Post by lg12 on May 19, 2008 14:03:58 GMT -1
exalted gres, weldone
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Post by GresleyRam©®™ on May 19, 2008 14:18:16 GMT -1
Congrats Gres! Sorry to hear about your nan. Joke.. Hmm, can only think of a very poor one so.. 'What do you call a guy with no shins?' 'Tony' ;d ;D ;D ;D
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Post by T C on May 19, 2008 14:19:28 GMT -1
Well done Big Foot ! Exalted bloke walks into a bar and ends up in hospital twas an iron bar ;D
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Post by GresleyRam©®™ on May 19, 2008 14:21:29 GMT -1
Well done Big Foot ! Exalted bloke walks into a bar and ends up in hospital twas an iron bar ;D ;D ;D
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Post by lg12 on May 19, 2008 15:06:50 GMT -1
exalted, or have I exalted you already? Anyway, have another one)
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Post by ESR on May 19, 2008 15:57:22 GMT -1
Well done on reaching the 30k Gres!
Sorry to hear about your Gran, and sorry I havent got any jokes lined up...yet
Exalted
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Post by GresleyRam©®™ on May 19, 2008 16:07:17 GMT -1
Cheers guys!
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Post by officergroyman on May 19, 2008 18:53:05 GMT -1
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Post by GresleyRam©®™ on May 19, 2008 19:05:06 GMT -1
;D Nice! ;D
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Post by Travis on May 26, 2008 12:30:49 GMT -1
Congrats Gres, sorry to hear about the news mate.
I always find a little sexism is appropraite at such times......
NEW ELEMENTS ON THE PERIODIC TABLE
Element: WOMAN Symbol: Wo Atomic Weight: 120 (more or less) Physical Properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze anytime. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well. Chemical properties: Very active. Possesses strong affinity to gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amount of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed beside a better specimen. Ages rapidly. Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for disintegration of wealth. Probably the single most powerful income reducing agent known. Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands. Element: MAN Symbol: XY Common Name(s): Varies anywhere from John to !@#$&*! Atomic Weight: 180 +/-100 Physical Properties: Solid at room temperature, but easily gets bent out of shape. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young, fresh samples. Chemical Properties: Attempts to bond with Wo any chance it can get. Also, tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with Kd (element Kid) for a prolonged period of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol. Usage: None really, except methane production. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command. Caution: In the absence of Wo, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
;D
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Post by Billy on May 26, 2008 12:46:35 GMT -1
well done Gres - customary exalt.
Hmmmm, a joke you say......
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
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