AndyRitchiesbestbud
League 2 Player
[M0:31]Yes I support Barnsley what are you going to do about it? And I hate Leeeeeds!!! But not in b
Posts: 109
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Post by AndyRitchiesbestbud on Dec 14, 2006 21:35:14 GMT -1
I'll start it off:
Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap.
Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, and heads back to the showers. He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way. Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue.
The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks.
The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his manhood. Startled, he drops a bar of soap.
"Oh look" says the first nun, "it's a soap dispenser".
To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his manhood. Sure enough, he drops the second bar of soap.
Now the third nun decides to have a go. She pulls once, then twice and three times but nothing happens. So she gives several more tugs, and then yells.
"Holy Mary, Mother of God, hand lotion too!"
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Post by Kentucky Kid on Dec 14, 2006 21:36:25 GMT -1
Heskey scoring a goal
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Post by urrzzzzzzzzzz on Dec 14, 2006 21:42:33 GMT -1
Frank Lampard losing weight.
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Post by urrzzzzzzzzzz on Dec 14, 2006 21:45:21 GMT -1
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Post by Katiekins on Dec 14, 2006 21:46:16 GMT -1
Frank Lampard losing weight. Hes not fat! |
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Post by Kentucky Kid on Dec 14, 2006 21:47:04 GMT -1
Frank Lampard losing weight. Hes not fat! no hes super fat |
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Post by Katiekins on Dec 14, 2006 21:48:54 GMT -1
 he isnt thouuughhhhhh Where is Jodie i need her back up! |
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Post by Kentucky Kid on Dec 14, 2006 21:50:13 GMT -1
WHO ATE ALL THE MINCE PIES
LAMPARD DID LAMPARD DID
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Post by Katiekins on Dec 14, 2006 21:53:09 GMT -1
WHO ATE ALL THE MINCE PIES LAMPARD DID LAMPARD DID |
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Post by Super Danny Webber on Dec 14, 2006 21:53:10 GMT -1
HES FAT deal with it  |
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Post by urrzzzzzzzzzz on Dec 14, 2006 21:53:23 GMT -1
If you're too lazy to go onto my links, here's a taster. There are so many more classics:
A couple were dressed and ready to go out for the evening. Security concious they turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the garden. They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi (10 min jobby but always 'top of the street 30 minutes later).
The taxi duly arrived, late! and the couple opened the front door to leave their house. Their cat shot back into the house like a bleeding bullet (it's hammering down with rain!).
They don't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. The wife jogs to the taxi while the husband goes inside to retrieve the cat. The cat runs upstairs with the man in hot pursuit.
Waiting in the cab, the wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty so she explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon.
"He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my Mother."
A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab.
"Sorry I took so long," he says, as they drive away.
"Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me but it worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her back out into the fucking garden!"
The cab driver drove straight into a parked car......
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Post by urrzzzzzzzzzz on Dec 14, 2006 21:54:01 GMT -1
HES FAT deal with it Paddy Kenny |
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Post by Katiekins on Dec 14, 2006 21:54:41 GMT -1
HES FAT deal with it Paddy Kenny Now he IS fat SDW you just jealous of lampards body |
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Post by Kentucky Kid on Dec 14, 2006 21:55:10 GMT -1
this has proably been told a million times before but ............
i thought i had bird flu the other day i couldn'd park the car started talking crap and had an urge to go shopping
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Post by Katiekins on Dec 14, 2006 21:56:28 GMT -1
This is one i have been telling sicne like junior school it is soo immature but i love it What have a man and computer got in common 6 and a half inch floppy ;d Que SDW with some computer geek crap |
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Post by The Lucky C on Dec 14, 2006 22:29:51 GMT -1
Frank Lampard losing weight. Hes not fat! Frank Lump of lard? He's fat. And useless. |
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Post by Neko Bazu on Dec 15, 2006 8:13:09 GMT -1
This is one i have been telling sicne like junior school it is soo immature but i love it What have a man and computer got in common 6 and a half inch floppy ;d Que SDW with some computer geek crap 6 and a half inch floppy?!  Good grief; you could club someone to death after watching porn with that! (I think you meant 3+1/2" floppy  ) |
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he isnt thouuughhhhhh
Good grief; you could club someone to death after watching porn with that!
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