Post by GresleyRam©®™ on Dec 12, 2006 19:56:52 GMT -1
RIGHT....After much discussion i have decided to put up our most recent set of secrets for a 'READ ONLY' page to allow people to post on RBNO.
The secrets evolve, and new 'shit' is unearthed about each other ever week, but its a starting point!
I will post the secrets i can find on here..if you are not featured, or i cannot find the originals then please PM THEM TO ME, and i'll post them on here! The thread will be locked to avoid any problems!
NEWBIE - CYS!!!!
1...Spurs Fan, not a secret but plenty of ammunition there
2....I hit a car whilst driving a forklift at work, but wasnt seen so i legged it
3....got shit scared whilst on underground rivers in New Zealand
4....the hotter the curry the better
5...me and my brother met 2 sisters while on Hols, he got the best one, woke up in the morning with mine and found out she was a pig farmer!!
6...prefer real ale to all that lager shit
7...got so pissed once i crossed the M4 on foot and had to pick a m8 up who fell over in the fast lane
8...broke a rib jumping over nextdoors fence to get my sons ball back
there you go m8
GOLDEN_BOY
1. I am actually a bit shy.
2. I have a large collection of ashtrays 'collected' from various holidays.
3. I have also taken a variety of drugs.
4. My middle name is very very rare.
5. I have yellow/red & black blood.
6. I had sex with someone I had known for under an hour last summer.
7. I have a few police convictions.
8. I was suspended for using a spud gun on a teacher at school.
ROASTER
1. Before supporting Leeds I followed Wolves (till I was 7 and 'smelt the coffee')
2. Started smoking aged 12.
3. Used to skive off school to sup homebrew at lunchtimes - whilst perusing my Dad's wank mags (13/14 at the time).
4. Have smoked various drugs.
5. Once so desperate for a smoke - myself and a friend tried in succession to smoke (using a sheet of newspaper) - straw - then mixed herbs. It resulted in a bit of house fire
6. Lost my viginity at 18 (football was more important)
7. Arrested for football violence (it was against Leicester - Valentines Day 1986)
8. Thrown out of Germany after the 1986 World Cup Final (when Argies bt Germany)
And my bonus one:
Between my 2nd and 3rd engagements (for marriage) I was shagging a married lass from the office. Took her home one lunchtime for the first time - he said she wasn't on the pill (trying for a child with hubby) - I said it was OK; I'd had testicular cancer and was firing blanks! Must have fucked her a dozen times before dumping her. She left work cos she was she was pregnant.
GOALPOSTS FOR JUMPERS
1. I lied at my only Catholic Confessional.
2. I completed the entire Panini Football 86 Sticker Album by nicking packs of stickers from the newsagent when I was a paperboy back, not surprisingly, in 1986.
3. I stole a Walnut from the local shop and roaster always goaded me about and threatened to tell our parents. I was only five years old for fuck's sake.
4. these aren;t going well - need some good secrets......erm....I met Geofrey Boycott at Old trafford (must try harder.....going from bad to worse)
5. I grassed my mates up to the police when they pushed someone's garden wall over...
6. I've completed Grand theft Auto 3, Vice City and San Andreas to 100% without using cheat codes
7. I've fancied Kylie Minogue since she was in Neighbours. My wife has to buy me a new Kylie Calendar every year....
8. I voted Lib Dem at the last election.
AND Poaching, Destroying church property, Usual drugs
PASTIE
1 - My father reads these pages so I shall watch what I put!
2 - I have appeared in numerous pantomines and even wrote one or two and yes I have been an ugly sister
3 - I was once cheated on then dumped on Valentine's night and the date has passed unrecognised ever since.
4 - I have a First Class Honours Degree but did no work for it and whilst I didn't actually cheat in the final exams I "played the system" sufficiently well
5 - I once stood in a urinal between Graeme Garden and Bill Oddie when the Goodies were at their peak (pardon the expression)
6 - I once received treatment in a Venezuelan hospital that was very invasive, was described as "Medieval" by my GP and I had no anaesthetic
7 - I have been stalked twice
8 - I once had a webcam chat with Lollipop very late at night
INCREDIBLE HULSE
1) I took the role as Widow Twanky for the Aladdin school play.....
2) I've had a fight and beat up one of my best mates for cheating on his bird......
3) I met George Best in the Alan Knight suite after watching Pompey v Leeds and had a chat with him (Got a signed shirt also )
4) I've met and had a drink with Shane Warne and Keven Pietersen.....
5) I know that one of my mates is actually gay and i am the only one to know..... (Don't start with the funnies!)
6) I've slept with twins......
7) I drove a car illegaly (spelling?)
8) Ive gone very close to sleeping with a mates mum only to pull out before it was too late......
Thought of some more....
9) I bought the first Busted single......shame
10) I am quater/half maltease thanks to my pop
11) I don't know if this counts but i am *going* to dive with Great Whites in a cage later this year.....
STERLAND
1 I have spent 20 months out of my 34 years in jail in two different countries.
2 In 1993 I was banned from every football ground in the country for 5 years for Public Order Offences under the then Football Holliganism Act.
3 I started my own business because I couldn't get a job.
4 I had a spare key for a car I sold a year earlier, saw it outside a club when I came out fucked up and took it home, dropping it about a half a mile away from my house saving me a 30 quid taxi.
5 I wore a Liverpool shirt for the first eight years of my life.
6 I gave a bartender 20 quid to put me on a 'flash fucking Harrys' tab that had a credit card tab and was footing the bill for his works night out. And drank almost a bottle of 15 YO Laphroig on it costing him almost 200 quid.
7 I bought a 2500 pound Plasma TV on a shopping channel when fucked up, when it arrived I damaged it and sent it back and 'disgusted' as I was at the inferior goods claimed a full refund.
8 Repeatedly cheated on my girlfriend when working the door at a club in Sheffield. Last woman I have ever cheated on and never will again..
GRESLEYRAM'S:
1. I am the same height as an average Ostrich (6ft 6in.)
2. I was once held hostage on a hijacked bus by a gang of shotgun and machete weilding Drug Dealers.
3. I once swapped Peter Shiltons England Shirt and Gloves for Star Wars figures ( i was only young)
4. I was arrested but not charged for urinating in an estate agents window in Bedford.
5. I was cautioned, but not charged, for assault on a minor after a 15 year old Chav had threatened Mrs Gres and a then 6 month old Mini Gres.
6. My pet hate is being asked if i play Basketball.
7. As a kid, I used to lie completely flat in bed so as not to be discovered by potential burglars.
8. As a kid, I wrote to Jimm'll Fix it asking for my kids footie team to play against England...bastard never wrote back!!
DTR'S
1, When I was a lot younger I didn’t walk or talk till aged two I had three brothers who fetched and carried for me, I just used to point.
2, I once sang “Rubber Bullets” by 10CC at a school concert and got a standing ovation.
3, I moved to Northern Ireland in 1982 to avoid arrest stayed for a year before returning managed to evade police for another year before going down.
4, On my first night in N Ireland the RUC shoved an SLR in my ear (shit myself) we were only going babysitting.
5, I have an Aunty who is two years younger than me.
6, I myself have been to Amsterdam many times, last year I took GFJ for his first virginal visit and got him shitfaced and giggling. Tee Hee
7, I went to Barcelona 99 Champion’s League, at the end I was sick over a wall at the top of the stands over Munich fans leaving below (happy times)
8, I was a Doorman\Security officer for 12 years never hurt anyone (badly) till three months after quitting head butted a fella who pissed me off taking my 20p off the pool table so fractured his face (I was drunk felt really bad afterwards) never hit anyone since.
TOM/ADE/FROG MANIAC
1. never broken a bone in my body
2. have pissed up greggs wall
3. i get threatened by chavs
4. i have had a 3some
5. i have smoked before
6. been ran over before
7. have only been to 2 countries abroad usa and france
8. my quickiest drink of a pint is 4 seconds
OG'S
. I'm just a wee lad at 6'-7", 255lbs (actually lost weight on my cleansing diet,more about that see #5 )
2. Huge Arsenal Supporter, actually knocked a few back with David Seaman.
3. Used to be involved with the Los Angeles Police Dept., have since moved on to bigger & better things.
4. Have cheated death when my parachutte failed to open during basic training.
5. Went on a 21 day fasting diet to cleanse my digestive tract & yes this diet included emimas.
6. Was nicknamed the ROCK by my previous coworkers, I do bear a slight resemblance to my bray.
7. Am a graduate of the University of Southern California, making your gangster a Trojan.
8. Used to own a Ferrari, but have since sold it and now drive a Dodge Truck.
9. Was voted Mr. Soccer (in your case Football) 2 years in a row in High School).
10. Have actually killed a man, actually more then one; however, it was in the line of duty.
PETER2DC'S
1. married for the 2nd time...heading for a divorce by dec.2007
2. 2 sons...1 unofficial kid (girl) and 4 step kids
3. pissed in a pool which turns urine red!
4. was arrested in east germany as a soldier...
5. shat in a bidet thinking it was a toilet
6. playing for Tus Celle in germany...i broke an oppostions leg...twice in two years...the same bloke!!!
7. was busted three time in the army...voted worst soldier in NATO
8. had sex with two women at one time ...many years ago...and lasted 3.9 seconds...its never happened since
STORTFORD SPUR
1) I'm allergic to crab
2) I'm very accident prone and headbutted the wall of a swimming when getting out and had to have my eyebrow stiched up(not long ago lol)
3)As a kid I ask my mum whether I should dive into the bath...she said yes...so I did..head first... ouch
4)As a kid, I sent 17 valentines in the same year
5) I came into school as a kid in non uniform on the wrong day
6)I've never been involved with the police........(apart from work)
7)My first job was selling candles............
8) I'm half scottish
URRZZZZZZZZZ
1) I'm very lightweight, can act tipsy after as little as 2 pints
2) My Dad's a Vicar
3) I've never won a fight
4) I've probably broken the record for smashed mugs since I started working at Starbucks
5) I weight 14st and for someone 6ft that's pretty bad.
6) In years 8-10 I used to spend school breaks in the computer room (even in the summer )
7) As a child growing up I followed the trend of supporting a big Premiership club and it took going to Reading matches to convert me. (The team won't be named, but listening to the match between the siad team and Reading last night I had no split loyalties)
8) I've failed my driving test 5 times.
I Reckon that is about all for now..but remember to PM me any fresh info/secrets/crap/lies etc that can be used! Oh...and remember one more thing - I NEVER MISS A TRICK!!
The secrets evolve, and new 'shit' is unearthed about each other ever week, but its a starting point!
I will post the secrets i can find on here..if you are not featured, or i cannot find the originals then please PM THEM TO ME, and i'll post them on here! The thread will be locked to avoid any problems!
NEWBIE - CYS!!!!
1...Spurs Fan, not a secret but plenty of ammunition there
2....I hit a car whilst driving a forklift at work, but wasnt seen so i legged it
3....got shit scared whilst on underground rivers in New Zealand
4....the hotter the curry the better
5...me and my brother met 2 sisters while on Hols, he got the best one, woke up in the morning with mine and found out she was a pig farmer!!
6...prefer real ale to all that lager shit
7...got so pissed once i crossed the M4 on foot and had to pick a m8 up who fell over in the fast lane
8...broke a rib jumping over nextdoors fence to get my sons ball back
there you go m8
GOLDEN_BOY
1. I am actually a bit shy.
2. I have a large collection of ashtrays 'collected' from various holidays.
3. I have also taken a variety of drugs.
4. My middle name is very very rare.
5. I have yellow/red & black blood.
6. I had sex with someone I had known for under an hour last summer.
7. I have a few police convictions.
8. I was suspended for using a spud gun on a teacher at school.
ROASTER
1. Before supporting Leeds I followed Wolves (till I was 7 and 'smelt the coffee')
2. Started smoking aged 12.
3. Used to skive off school to sup homebrew at lunchtimes - whilst perusing my Dad's wank mags (13/14 at the time).
4. Have smoked various drugs.
5. Once so desperate for a smoke - myself and a friend tried in succession to smoke (using a sheet of newspaper) - straw - then mixed herbs. It resulted in a bit of house fire
6. Lost my viginity at 18 (football was more important)
7. Arrested for football violence (it was against Leicester - Valentines Day 1986)
8. Thrown out of Germany after the 1986 World Cup Final (when Argies bt Germany)
And my bonus one:
Between my 2nd and 3rd engagements (for marriage) I was shagging a married lass from the office. Took her home one lunchtime for the first time - he said she wasn't on the pill (trying for a child with hubby) - I said it was OK; I'd had testicular cancer and was firing blanks! Must have fucked her a dozen times before dumping her. She left work cos she was she was pregnant.
GOALPOSTS FOR JUMPERS
1. I lied at my only Catholic Confessional.
2. I completed the entire Panini Football 86 Sticker Album by nicking packs of stickers from the newsagent when I was a paperboy back, not surprisingly, in 1986.
3. I stole a Walnut from the local shop and roaster always goaded me about and threatened to tell our parents. I was only five years old for fuck's sake.
4. these aren;t going well - need some good secrets......erm....I met Geofrey Boycott at Old trafford (must try harder.....going from bad to worse)
5. I grassed my mates up to the police when they pushed someone's garden wall over...
6. I've completed Grand theft Auto 3, Vice City and San Andreas to 100% without using cheat codes
7. I've fancied Kylie Minogue since she was in Neighbours. My wife has to buy me a new Kylie Calendar every year....
8. I voted Lib Dem at the last election.
AND Poaching, Destroying church property, Usual drugs
PASTIE
1 - My father reads these pages so I shall watch what I put!
2 - I have appeared in numerous pantomines and even wrote one or two and yes I have been an ugly sister
3 - I was once cheated on then dumped on Valentine's night and the date has passed unrecognised ever since.
4 - I have a First Class Honours Degree but did no work for it and whilst I didn't actually cheat in the final exams I "played the system" sufficiently well
5 - I once stood in a urinal between Graeme Garden and Bill Oddie when the Goodies were at their peak (pardon the expression)
6 - I once received treatment in a Venezuelan hospital that was very invasive, was described as "Medieval" by my GP and I had no anaesthetic
7 - I have been stalked twice
8 - I once had a webcam chat with Lollipop very late at night
INCREDIBLE HULSE
1) I took the role as Widow Twanky for the Aladdin school play.....
2) I've had a fight and beat up one of my best mates for cheating on his bird......
3) I met George Best in the Alan Knight suite after watching Pompey v Leeds and had a chat with him (Got a signed shirt also )
4) I've met and had a drink with Shane Warne and Keven Pietersen.....
5) I know that one of my mates is actually gay and i am the only one to know..... (Don't start with the funnies!)
6) I've slept with twins......
7) I drove a car illegaly (spelling?)
8) Ive gone very close to sleeping with a mates mum only to pull out before it was too late......
Thought of some more....
9) I bought the first Busted single......shame
10) I am quater/half maltease thanks to my pop
11) I don't know if this counts but i am *going* to dive with Great Whites in a cage later this year.....
STERLAND
1 I have spent 20 months out of my 34 years in jail in two different countries.
2 In 1993 I was banned from every football ground in the country for 5 years for Public Order Offences under the then Football Holliganism Act.
3 I started my own business because I couldn't get a job.
4 I had a spare key for a car I sold a year earlier, saw it outside a club when I came out fucked up and took it home, dropping it about a half a mile away from my house saving me a 30 quid taxi.
5 I wore a Liverpool shirt for the first eight years of my life.
6 I gave a bartender 20 quid to put me on a 'flash fucking Harrys' tab that had a credit card tab and was footing the bill for his works night out. And drank almost a bottle of 15 YO Laphroig on it costing him almost 200 quid.
7 I bought a 2500 pound Plasma TV on a shopping channel when fucked up, when it arrived I damaged it and sent it back and 'disgusted' as I was at the inferior goods claimed a full refund.
8 Repeatedly cheated on my girlfriend when working the door at a club in Sheffield. Last woman I have ever cheated on and never will again..
GRESLEYRAM'S:
1. I am the same height as an average Ostrich (6ft 6in.)
2. I was once held hostage on a hijacked bus by a gang of shotgun and machete weilding Drug Dealers.
3. I once swapped Peter Shiltons England Shirt and Gloves for Star Wars figures ( i was only young)
4. I was arrested but not charged for urinating in an estate agents window in Bedford.
5. I was cautioned, but not charged, for assault on a minor after a 15 year old Chav had threatened Mrs Gres and a then 6 month old Mini Gres.
6. My pet hate is being asked if i play Basketball.
7. As a kid, I used to lie completely flat in bed so as not to be discovered by potential burglars.
8. As a kid, I wrote to Jimm'll Fix it asking for my kids footie team to play against England...bastard never wrote back!!
DTR'S
1, When I was a lot younger I didn’t walk or talk till aged two I had three brothers who fetched and carried for me, I just used to point.
2, I once sang “Rubber Bullets” by 10CC at a school concert and got a standing ovation.
3, I moved to Northern Ireland in 1982 to avoid arrest stayed for a year before returning managed to evade police for another year before going down.
4, On my first night in N Ireland the RUC shoved an SLR in my ear (shit myself) we were only going babysitting.
5, I have an Aunty who is two years younger than me.
6, I myself have been to Amsterdam many times, last year I took GFJ for his first virginal visit and got him shitfaced and giggling. Tee Hee
7, I went to Barcelona 99 Champion’s League, at the end I was sick over a wall at the top of the stands over Munich fans leaving below (happy times)
8, I was a Doorman\Security officer for 12 years never hurt anyone (badly) till three months after quitting head butted a fella who pissed me off taking my 20p off the pool table so fractured his face (I was drunk felt really bad afterwards) never hit anyone since.
TOM/ADE/FROG MANIAC
1. never broken a bone in my body
2. have pissed up greggs wall
3. i get threatened by chavs
4. i have had a 3some
5. i have smoked before
6. been ran over before
7. have only been to 2 countries abroad usa and france
8. my quickiest drink of a pint is 4 seconds
OG'S
. I'm just a wee lad at 6'-7", 255lbs (actually lost weight on my cleansing diet,more about that see #5 )
2. Huge Arsenal Supporter, actually knocked a few back with David Seaman.
3. Used to be involved with the Los Angeles Police Dept., have since moved on to bigger & better things.
4. Have cheated death when my parachutte failed to open during basic training.
5. Went on a 21 day fasting diet to cleanse my digestive tract & yes this diet included emimas.
6. Was nicknamed the ROCK by my previous coworkers, I do bear a slight resemblance to my bray.
7. Am a graduate of the University of Southern California, making your gangster a Trojan.
8. Used to own a Ferrari, but have since sold it and now drive a Dodge Truck.
9. Was voted Mr. Soccer (in your case Football) 2 years in a row in High School).
10. Have actually killed a man, actually more then one; however, it was in the line of duty.
PETER2DC'S
1. married for the 2nd time...heading for a divorce by dec.2007
2. 2 sons...1 unofficial kid (girl) and 4 step kids
3. pissed in a pool which turns urine red!
4. was arrested in east germany as a soldier...
5. shat in a bidet thinking it was a toilet
6. playing for Tus Celle in germany...i broke an oppostions leg...twice in two years...the same bloke!!!
7. was busted three time in the army...voted worst soldier in NATO
8. had sex with two women at one time ...many years ago...and lasted 3.9 seconds...its never happened since
STORTFORD SPUR
1) I'm allergic to crab
2) I'm very accident prone and headbutted the wall of a swimming when getting out and had to have my eyebrow stiched up(not long ago lol)
3)As a kid I ask my mum whether I should dive into the bath...she said yes...so I did..head first... ouch
4)As a kid, I sent 17 valentines in the same year
5) I came into school as a kid in non uniform on the wrong day
6)I've never been involved with the police........(apart from work)
7)My first job was selling candles............
8) I'm half scottish
URRZZZZZZZZZ
1) I'm very lightweight, can act tipsy after as little as 2 pints
2) My Dad's a Vicar
3) I've never won a fight
4) I've probably broken the record for smashed mugs since I started working at Starbucks
5) I weight 14st and for someone 6ft that's pretty bad.
6) In years 8-10 I used to spend school breaks in the computer room (even in the summer )
7) As a child growing up I followed the trend of supporting a big Premiership club and it took going to Reading matches to convert me. (The team won't be named, but listening to the match between the siad team and Reading last night I had no split loyalties)
8) I've failed my driving test 5 times.
I Reckon that is about all for now..but remember to PM me any fresh info/secrets/crap/lies etc that can be used! Oh...and remember one more thing - I NEVER MISS A TRICK!!
