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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Jun 15, 2008 11:53:24 GMT -1
A guy goes into a bar and starts tossin' back shots. The bartender asks him what is wrong. The man looks out the window and says "You see that fence over there? I built that fence. But do they call me "Jones the Fence Builder"? Fuck no. He takes another shot and says "You see those trees over there? I planted all those trees But do they call me "Jones the Tree Planter" Of course not. He then hangs his head and says "But ya fuck one sheep."
;D
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Jun 15, 2008 11:58:25 GMT -1
Wife comes home early and catches her hubby having a wank in the kitchen.
She rushes over and gives him the best blowjob of his life.
Afterwards he asks, "we haven't had sex for six months and suddenly this. Why?"
She answers, "I just washed the floor this morning, I'd rather brush my teeth than clean the fuckin' floor again!"
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Post by T C on Jun 15, 2008 13:23:42 GMT -1
they get worse and worse Kev........ thank god !  |
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Jun 15, 2008 13:46:38 GMT -1
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Jun 19, 2008 20:13:04 GMT -1
A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.
Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.
The first woman said 'Have you ever had a hug?'
The man said 'No,' so she gave him a hug and walked on.
The second woman said 'Have you ever had a kiss?'
The man said 'No,' so she gave him a kiss and walked on.
The third really beautiful woman came up to him and said 'Have you ever
been fucked?'
The fellow said 'No.'
She said 'You will be when the tide comes in.'
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Jun 19, 2008 20:22:19 GMT -1
Tel went to see the nurse this morning for his annual check-up. She said he had to stop wanking. When he asked why, she said, "because I'm trying to examine you!"  ;D |
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Post by Pete the Wolf on Jun 19, 2008 20:57:33 GMT -1
A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs. Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man. The first woman said 'Have you ever had a hug?' The man said 'No,' so she gave him a hug and walked on. The second woman said 'Have you ever had a kiss?' The man said 'No,' so she gave him a kiss and walked on. The third really beautiful woman came up to him and said 'Have you ever been fucked?' The fellow said 'No.' She said 'You will be when the tide comes in.' Harsh but funny ;D |
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Jun 21, 2008 16:01:36 GMT -1
Bloke goes to a brothel with 50p in his pocket. They tell him to get lost, but he pleads, so they put him in a room with a duck and a jar of vaseline. Next week he is even skinter, he has only 10p. This time they put him in a room full of dirty old men wanking off as they look through knotholes into the room next door where someone is fucking a cat. "Don't think much of this!" he says. The bloke next to him grunts and says "Count yourself lucky - last week it was some pratt with a duck!"
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Jun 24, 2008 14:16:59 GMT -1
Two prostitutes are in the back of a police car, one of the policemen asks, "have you ever been picked up by the fuzz before?" one of them replies, "no, but I've been swung around by my tits."
;D
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Jun 26, 2008 9:04:56 GMT -1
Kylie Minogue, Elton John and Brad Pitt are walking along a street when Kylie trips, falls and jams her head into the railings. Brad, quick as a flash pulls down her knickers and gives her a right good fucking from behind.
Brad turns to Elton and says "Your turn", at which point Elton begins to cry relentlessly.
"Whats wrong" asks Brad.
"My fucking head wont fit in those railings" replies Elton
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Post by MozzaBedfordSpur on Jun 26, 2008 11:01:10 GMT -1
Kylie Minogue, Elton John and Brad Pitt are walking along a street when Kylie trips, falls and jams her head into the railings. Brad, quick as a flash pulls down her knickers and gives her a right good fucking from behind. Brad turns to Elton and says "Your turn", at which point Elton begins to cry relentlessly. "Whats wrong" asks Brad. "My fucking head wont fit in those railings" replies Elton Bwhaha ;D |
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Post by T C on Jun 26, 2008 11:10:33 GMT -1
Kylie Minogue, Elton John and Brad Pitt are walking along a street when Kylie trips, falls and jams her head into the railings. Brad, quick as a flash pulls down her knickers and gives her a right good fucking from behind. Brad turns to Elton and says "Your turn", at which point Elton begins to cry relentlessly. "Whats wrong" asks Brad. "My fucking head wont fit in those railings" replies Elton very good kev ;D |
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Jun 26, 2008 11:13:21 GMT -1
Kylie Minogue, Elton John and Brad Pitt are walking along a street when Kylie trips, falls and jams her head into the railings. Brad, quick as a flash pulls down her knickers and gives her a right good fucking from behind. Brad turns to Elton and says "Your turn", at which point Elton begins to cry relentlessly. "Whats wrong" asks Brad. "My fucking head wont fit in those railings" replies Elton very good kev ;D did you like reply 225 ;D |
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Post by URRZZZ!!! on Jun 26, 2008 20:49:49 GMT -1
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang Rape
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Post by T C on Jun 27, 2008 7:56:22 GMT -1
did you like reply 225 ;D very fucking droll ;D |
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Post by Golden_Boy™ on Jun 27, 2008 15:50:49 GMT -1
A man walks into a petrol station and says, "Can I please have a KitKat Chunky."
The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him.
"No," says the man, "I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat bitch."
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Jul 3, 2008 6:59:27 GMT -1
I went to a strawberry crushing competition last week and managed to finish runner-up.The over-all winner was a woman with no legs, the jammy C*nt!!  ;D |
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Post by T C on Jul 3, 2008 7:54:38 GMT -1
I went to a strawberry crushing competition last week and managed to finish runner-up.The over-all winner was a woman with no legs, the jammy C*nt!! ;D oh my god  |
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Post by DTR on Jul 3, 2008 8:19:24 GMT -1
FPML ;D and so were most of my office ;D
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Post by C@V on Jul 3, 2008 11:03:47 GMT -1
What do you call a woman with no legs?
Dirty C*nt!
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;D
;D
