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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Apr 28, 2008 18:02:08 GMT -1
Gay Ray goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says, "Ray, I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS." Ray is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?" "Eat 1 curry sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts,1/2 box of Grape nuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice." Ray asks bewildered, "Will that cure me, Doc? " Doc says, "No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your fuckin' arse is for."  ;D |
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Apr 29, 2008 16:35:09 GMT -1
Was the wife's birthday today, I'd already asked her what she wanted and she said "Something that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 5 seconds"
I bought the fat bitch a set of scales !
;D
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Apr 29, 2008 16:35:58 GMT -1
Austrian nonce Josef Fritzl is writing a new book. People are doubting though whether it will be a best cellar. |
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Apr 29, 2008 17:39:46 GMT -1
Inside every fat person is a thin person crying to get out - but you can usually shut the bastard up with biscuits ;D
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on Apr 30, 2008 15:28:28 GMT -1
A man walks into a petrol station and says
"Can I please have a kitkat chunky".
The lady behind the till gets him a kitkat chunky and brings it back to him.
"No" says the man. "I wanted a normal kitkat you fat bitch"
;D
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Post by MozzaBedfordSpur on May 5, 2008 21:14:40 GMT -1
A man walks into a petrol station and says "Can I please have a kitkat chunky". The lady behind the till gets him a kitkat chunky and brings it back to him. "No" says the man. "I wanted a normal kitkat you fat bitch" ;D  |
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on May 8, 2008 18:26:17 GMT -1
Two gay blokes are caught up an alleyway by a cop. He grabbed one and the other ran off.
He said to the one he caught, "if I catch your mate, I'm gonna shove this truncheon right up his arse!"
Then a voice said, "I'm in the bin."
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Post by T C on May 11, 2008 10:06:38 GMT -1
 Two gay blokes are caught up an alleyway by a cop. He grabbed one and the other ran off. He said to the one he caught, "if I catch your mate, I'm gonna shove this truncheon right up his arse!" Then a voice said, "I'm in the bin."
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Post by T C on May 11, 2008 10:07:55 GMT -1
Jill says to Jack lets play hide and seek. If you find me you can fuck me in the arse and come in my mouth.... and if you can't find me I'll be in the shed
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on May 11, 2008 20:52:00 GMT -1
;D
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on May 14, 2008 19:25:47 GMT -1
So, a daughter in the cellar, and an axe murder in the closet.
I can't help but feel the Austrians are taking the game of Cluedo a little too seriously.
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Post by Pete the Wolf on May 15, 2008 8:23:31 GMT -1
There once was man from Nantucket,
whos dick was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin,
as he came on his chin,
'If my ear was a c*nt i could fuck it'
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on May 15, 2008 10:02:44 GMT -1
Q: What's the definition of disgusting? A: Putting twelve oysters up your grandma's c*nt and sucking out thirteen |
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on May 16, 2008 11:06:19 GMT -1
I used to work as a porter in a hospital, but i got sacked because i couldn't stand people with amputated legs.
I really tried,...but i just couldn't balance the fuckers..
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gt
Non League Player (someone crap, like Boston)
Posts: 51
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Post by gt on May 16, 2008 11:08:36 GMT -1
CYS the one before the last is truly vile mate, and I've just eaten  Yeah I know I shouldn't have clicked the damn thread ;D |
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on May 16, 2008 11:11:52 GMT -1
;D i refer you to point 2  |
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Post by T C on May 16, 2008 11:28:49 GMT -1
I used to work as a porter in a hospital, but i got sacked because i couldn't stand people with amputated legs. I really tried,...but i just couldn't balance the fuckers.. very droll ;D |
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Post by Pete the Wolf on May 16, 2008 16:42:25 GMT -1
Q: What's the definition of disgusting? A: Putting twelve oysters up your grandma's c*nt and sucking out thirteen wrong WRONG!  |
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Post by lg12 on May 16, 2008 16:47:54 GMT -1
Ok, so there was this 18 year old girl, she goes up to here mum and says mum, im pregent. The mum said, what pig did this to you! So the 18 year old girl went up stairs to phone up the man who is the father. About 2 hours later, a tall grey suited man knocked on the door, and he was let in. He said, " I cant marry your daughter, but heres what ill do, If she gives birth to a boy I give you 4 miliion Pounds in cash and a share of my buissness, but if she gives birth to a girl, Ill give you 2 million pounds and a big house. But the thing Im wrorried about is if the baby dies."And the father says, " You will sleep with her agian!!!"
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Post by CmonYouSpurs on May 19, 2008 15:47:51 GMT -1
sry Pete ;D
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;D
