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Post by Roaster©®™ on Feb 14, 2006 19:16:06 GMT -1
Only rules - no more than 4 or 5 lines (spaces don't count). Just quick fire BOOM BOOM gags! Here's a few examples: -
As we age, our priorities change . The other day I came home and was greeted by my wife, dressed only in very sexy underwear and holding a couple of short velvet ropes.
"Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So, I tied her up and went golfing.
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Post by PASTIE on Feb 14, 2006 19:22:23 GMT -1
I went to the Doctor with a chip up both nostrils and beans in my ears. I said "Doctor I'm losing weight". He said "No wonder, you're not eating properly".
Two lines.
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Feb 14, 2006 20:47:46 GMT -1
;D
Leeds 2 Watford 1
1 Line
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Post by Golden_Boy™ on Feb 14, 2006 20:55:33 GMT -1
thats short, but neither sweet nor funny is it Roaster!?
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Feb 14, 2006 20:56:39 GMT -1
thats short, but neither sweet nor funny is it Roaster!? Sorry mate!! No not funny!! |
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Feb 14, 2006 20:57:29 GMT -1
Channel 408! Championship goals and interviews!
And NO not funny GB
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Post by Golden_Boy™ on Feb 14, 2006 20:58:48 GMT -1
tosser!!
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Feb 14, 2006 20:59:06 GMT -1
But this is
A woman enroled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles.
The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what her asshole does when she has an orgasm.
"Sure!" she says, "He's at home taking care of the kids..."
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Post by Golden_Boy™ on Feb 14, 2006 21:00:41 GMT -1
that actually made me LOL nice one Roaster
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Post by Golden_Boy™ on Feb 14, 2006 21:05:05 GMT -1
In Ikea they have a Shelf storage system called 'Nob'. - So that's the only shop you can go into and ask the assistant to wheel your Nob to the car because it's too heavy.
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Feb 14, 2006 21:09:07 GMT -1
;D
Next time I'm there with the wife I'll try that! Get me a lift to the car if nowt else ;D
Opening up the BIG jokes thread now after a few days absence
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Post by PASTIE on Feb 14, 2006 22:51:06 GMT -1
I was in the garden centre of B&Q and this bloke in an orange apron asked if I wanted decking. Not wishing to take any chances, I made sure i got the first punch in.
Old, but always makes me laugh.
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Feb 15, 2006 8:40:23 GMT -1
I was in the garden centre of B&Q and this bloke in an orange apron asked if I wanted decking. Not wishing to take any chances, I made sure i got the first punch in. Old, but always makes me laugh. ;D made me smile too! |
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Post by Ninja Squirrel on Feb 15, 2006 10:56:52 GMT -1
A women asks a Doctor "can I get pregnant from anal sex?"
The doctors says "of course where do you think (Insert whom ever here) come from"
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Post by Billy on Feb 15, 2006 11:06:34 GMT -1
two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other "does this taste funny to you?"
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Post by Ninja Squirrel on Feb 15, 2006 11:13:07 GMT -1
Two Gold fish in a tank one says to the other "You know how to drive"
Two parrots on a perch on says "You smell fish"
Two Flies on a fanny which ones on drugs?
the one on the crack
I'll be quiet now
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Post by Billy on Feb 15, 2006 11:16:00 GMT -1
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad......or maybe my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu.
But I'm pretty sure it's Colin.
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Post by Ninja Squirrel on Feb 15, 2006 11:22:16 GMT -1
Pinched from Peter Kay before any one says
Phoned the take away last night and asked do you deliver?
No we do lamb chicken and beef !
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Feb 15, 2006 11:26:26 GMT -1
Pinched from Peter Kay before any one says Phoned the take away last night and asked do you deliver? No we do lamb chicken and beef ! Classic ;D |
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Post by Ninja Squirrel on Feb 15, 2006 12:00:13 GMT -1
Whats the definition of frustration?
Nailing diarrhea to a wall!
Old school
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One by one the penguins steal my sanity.
