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Post by Lollipop on Jun 15, 2006 13:42:41 GMT -1
Wot a splendid chap. And I completely agree with you on the subject of Hargreaves.
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Post by ccfcjess on Jun 15, 2006 14:01:50 GMT -1
You have no shame, Mr Hulse - you romance one, then the other, right under each other's noses, but you're so damned good at it, they don't seem to mind. I would like to add my name to those who are currently acclaiming your poetic brilliance. Lol, he's only romancing one of them..and it's not me! He just wrote that to cheer me up. Lol
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Post by jh1980 on Jun 29, 2006 10:11:35 GMT -1
No jokes in this one... *** Make me feel like I'm in control - While still knowing that you are. Why do I want you? I can't breathe without you Every second on my mind. You know I burn like a candle (Lit at both ends) A glorious wreck, the perfect car crash Just for you to say my name; Just to remind me one more time You love me.
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Post by redwhine on Jun 30, 2006 4:21:13 GMT -1
Little boy sits by the lavatory pan, gently caressing his little old man. Flip flop, into the tank, Christopher Robin is having a wank.
Little boy stands at the foot of the stairs Clutched in his hand some brown and grey hairs. Oh dear! Just fancy that, Chritopher Robin's castrated the cat!
Tone lowered sufficiently?
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Post by redwhine on Jun 30, 2006 4:29:47 GMT -1
Midnight, and onto the village green came nell. Was she picking daisy chains? Was she f##king hell! She was waiting for her lover, He was naught but a big fat lubber. He wasn't fit for shifting shit from one pile to another.
Three months later all is well. Six months later Nell begins to swell. Nine months later, whizz,bang, pop. Out pops a baby with a paralysed cock. But wait folks, cos that's not all. The poor little bastard only had one ball!
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Post by redwhine on Jun 30, 2006 4:44:36 GMT -1
We're all dahn in t'cellar oyle wi t'muck slapped on t't winders. We've burnt all us coyl, and we're nah dahn t't cinders. If bum bailiff calls, he nary will find us, cos we're all dahn in t' cellar oyle wi t'muck slapped on t'winders.
Posh version We are all down in the basement, where the dirt accumulates on the casement. We've ignited all our anthracite, and are now left with the residue. If the town hall representative should call, he will be unable to locate us. Because we're all down in the basement where the dirt accumulates on the casement.
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Post by redwhine on Jul 17, 2006 16:44:13 GMT -1
Daniel Morgan
This is the tale of Daniel Morgan Who had a tiny sexual organ. This gave the girls a sudden shock When they held his tiny cock.
He laboured hard to find a cure. He poulticed it with fish manure. He tied it up with bits of string, But still it was a poor wee thing.
It was just one inch long when fully reared, and, lying down, it disappeared. Twas just by chance they called him Danny. With 1/2 inch less they'd call him Fanny!
See next post for the rest. I don't know what happened there!
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Post by redwhine on Jul 17, 2006 17:19:01 GMT -1
Daniel Morgan
This is the tale of Daniel Morgan Who had a tiny sexual organ. This gave the girls a sudden shock When they held his tiny cock.
He laboured hard to find a cure. He poulticed it with fish manure. He tied it up with bits of string, But still it was a poor wee thing.
It was just one inch long when fully reared, and, lying down, it disappeared. Twas just by chance they called him Danny. With 1/2 inch less they'd call him Fanny!
One day Dan read in The Daily Mail That things called falsies were for sale for women who had tiny breasts. They wore things inside their vests and then went out in latest fashion to satisfy men's beastly passion.
Our Danny said "I'm no fool. Why can't I make a big false tool?" He worked all night upon his chopper and ended up with a great big whopper.
Twelve inches long and made of plastic to stretch a fanny just like elastic. It really was a lovely job; Upon the end a big red knob.
Dan tied it up with bits of twine, It really did look rather fine lying there beneath his pants. It looked just like an elephants.
Girls all flocked around with glee to see his bulge reach to his knee. No other fellow stood a chance When Dan was at a local dance. When girls were dancing round with Danny His tool kept tickling round their fanny.
The girls began to faint and swoon as Danny waltzed them round the room. But what a shock Dan had in store. For, one night dancing round the floor, Danny stopped and loudly cursed - he felt his strings and strapping burst!
Before he reached the nearest seat his tool was dangling round his feet. His partner said, with a nervous cough "Excuse me, but your cock's fell off!"
He couldn't face the scene thereafter; the wise cracks and the scornful laughter, all the girls that Dan had dated, in tears to see his cock deflated.
A girl called Sylvia made Dan sick as she gave him a spiteful kick. Poor Danny screamed around the hall for the string was tied around one ball.
As he staggered to the door he dragged his cock along the floor. The band by now were almost crackers As Dan went home to bathe his knackers.
So if you're like Dan Morgan and have a tiny sexual organ, remember if it's only wee, it's always big enough for a pee!!!
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Post by Lollipop on Nov 11, 2006 19:03:27 GMT -1
Photograph my thoughts, All you'll see is you.
Photograph my mouth, Its saying your sweet name.
Photograph my hands, They are reaching for yours.
Photograph my feet, They are walking towards you.
Photograph my heart, You'll only find my love for you.
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Post by Tony Yeboah's Lunchbox on Aug 5, 2007 20:50:17 GMT -1
Ode to our LollyThere are so many things i could say about Lolly, So ill start with the obvious, her looks oh good golly, She's a sexy northern lass, with a tasty looking ass, Covered with a smooth tanned skin, the kind that makes the fella's grin, That shiny brown hair, great legs and a body......is this really fair, Lets not forget those perky lips, almost as perky as those hidden nips! Sparkling dark eyes, a stare that drag in the guys, Oh and of course there's that smile, the best by a country mile But lets get serious for a mo, cos there's more than good looks to this girl you know, Just 19 years old, with a heart of gold, An infectious personality, with so much originality A kind caring nature, a young woman so mature, a great sense of direction, and a will to succeed i must mention There is a guy out there right now, who split up with her only he knows how, Why would he dare, when this chick is so cool, Laugh my ass off what a loser, laugh out loud what a fool! Clicking a camera is very much her passion, Her clothes, new or old always look bang in fashion, Then there is that guy she calls Jeff, her knight in shining armour, despite his death Lets also remember her Leeds 'lover' Killa, this is when we need to call Cilla, For our Jen loves him to bits, and wouldn't mind him sucking her t*ts! The final word of course goes to Leeds, the only team on this planet that meets her needs, All in all to sum up she's a sexy, kind fun loving Leeds fan, Whoever gets her is one fucking lucky man! (Now i hope that cheers you up!) Here it is! One of my finest! And she wants a new one just like that.....tsk!
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Post by ITFC Dudette6 on Aug 5, 2007 20:51:44 GMT -1
Ode to our LollyThere are so many things i could say about Lolly, So ill start with the obvious, her looks oh good golly, She's a sexy northern lass, with a tasty looking ass, Covered with a smooth tanned skin, the kind that makes the fella's grin, That shiny brown hair, great legs and a body......is this really fair, Lets not forget those perky lips, almost as perky as those hidden nips! Sparkling dark eyes, a stare that drag in the guys, Oh and of course there's that smile, the best by a country mile But lets get serious for a mo, cos there's more than good looks to this girl you know, Just 19 years old, with a heart of gold, An infectious personality, with so much originality A kind caring nature, a young woman so mature, a great sense of direction, and a will to succeed i must mention There is a guy out there right now, who split up with her only he knows how, Why would he dare, when this chick is so cool, Laugh my ass off what a loser, laugh out loud what a fool! Clicking a camera is very much her passion, Her clothes, new or old always look bang in fashion, Then there is that guy she calls Jeff, her knight in shining armour, despite his death Lets also remember her Leeds 'lover' Killa, this is when we need to call Cilla, For our Jen loves him to bits, and wouldn't mind him sucking her t*ts! The final word of course goes to Leeds, the only team on this planet that meets her needs, All in all to sum up she's a sexy, kind fun loving Leeds fan, Whoever gets her is one fucking lucky man! (Now i hope that cheers you up!) Here it is! One of my finest! And she wants a new one just like that.....tsk! Just change the 19 to 21 and maybe change a few words
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Post by Tony Yeboah's Lunchbox on Aug 5, 2007 20:52:03 GMT -1
You have no shame, Mr Hulse - you romance one, then the other, right under each other's noses, but you're so damned good at it, they don't seem to mind. I would like to add my name to those who are currently acclaiming your poetic brilliance. Lol i never saw Magic's comment! But cheers wherever you have eloped to!
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Post by Tony Yeboah's Lunchbox on Aug 5, 2007 20:54:49 GMT -1
Here it is! One of my finest! And she wants a new one just like that.....tsk! Just change the 19 to 21 and maybe change a few words Haha yeah maybe! Might need to take a different direction though this time. My god, its weird looking at posts from over a year ago you know....
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Post by Lollipop on Aug 5, 2007 20:55:13 GMT -1
Ode to our LollyThere are so many things i could say about Lolly, So ill start with the obvious, her looks oh good golly, She's a sexy northern lass, with a tasty looking ass, Covered with a smooth tanned skin, the kind that makes the fella's grin, That shiny brown hair, great legs and a body......is this really fair, Lets not forget those perky lips, almost as perky as those hidden nips! Sparkling dark eyes, a stare that drag in the guys, Oh and of course there's that smile, the best by a country mile But lets get serious for a mo, cos there's more than good looks to this girl you know, Just 19 years old, with a heart of gold, An infectious personality, with so much originality A kind caring nature, a young woman so mature, a great sense of direction, and a will to succeed i must mention There is a guy out there right now, who split up with her only he knows how, Why would he dare, when this chick is so cool, Laugh my ass off what a loser, laugh out loud what a fool! Clicking a camera is very much her passion, Her clothes, new or old always look bang in fashion, Then there is that guy she calls Jeff, her knight in shining armour, despite his death Lets also remember her Leeds 'lover' Killa, this is when we need to call Cilla, For our Jen loves him to bits, and wouldn't mind him sucking her t*ts! The final word of course goes to Leeds, the only team on this planet that meets her needs, All in all to sum up she's a sexy, kind fun loving Leeds fan, Whoever gets her is one fucking lucky man! (Now i hope that cheers you up!) Here it is! One of my finest! And she wants a new one just like that.....tsk! Haha, I do love this poem. You know I do! But I think you wrote it for my birthday last year, So would just like well...another one! You don't have to though.
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Post by ITFC Dudette6 on Aug 5, 2007 20:55:36 GMT -1
Just change the 19 to 21 and maybe change a few words Haha yeah maybe! Might need to take a different direction though this time. My god, its weird looking at posts from over a year ago you know.... Know the feeling. I can pinpoint how much I've changed! I started off non-smiley. Then went into a craze, and have now gone half-smiley, half-normal!
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Post by Lollipop on Aug 5, 2007 20:56:05 GMT -1
Photograph my thoughts, All you'll see is you. Photograph my mouth, Its saying your sweet name. Photograph my hands, They are reaching for yours. Photograph my feet, They are walking towards you. Photograph my heart, You'll only find my love for you. Bloody hell! I remember writing this.
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Post by Tony Yeboah's Lunchbox on Aug 5, 2007 21:00:01 GMT -1
Here it is! One of my finest! And she wants a new one just like that.....tsk! Haha, I do love this poem. You know I do! But I think you wrote it for my birthday last year, So would just like well...another one! You don't have to though. Course I will...might even do some for other people too like I originally said on this thread! Lol, he's only romancing one of them..and it's not me! He just wrote that to cheer me up. I think it was more a 'pick me up' for you at a rough time.
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Post by Tony Yeboah's Lunchbox on Aug 5, 2007 21:01:25 GMT -1
Haha yeah maybe! Might need to take a different direction though this time. My god, its weird looking at posts from over a year ago you know.... Know the feeling. I can pinpoint how much I've changed! I started off non-smiley. Then went into a craze, and have now gone half-smiley, half-normal! I know, its weird how your style can change without you knowing it. I find some stuff so cringe worthy its untrue. Delete button is so tempting!
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Post by Lollipop on Aug 5, 2007 21:06:55 GMT -1
Haha, I do love this poem. You know I do! But I think you wrote it for my birthday last year, So would just like well...another one! You don't have to though. Course I will...might even do some for other people too like I originally said on this thread! Lol, he's only romancing one of them..and it's not me! He just wrote that to cheer me up. I think it was more a 'pick me up' for you at a rough time. Ah yeah.
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Post by ITFC Dudette6 on Aug 5, 2007 21:08:55 GMT -1
Know the feeling. I can pinpoint how much I've changed! I started off non-smiley. Then went into a craze, and have now gone half-smiley, half-normal! I know, its weird how your style can change without you knowing it. I find some stuff so cringe worthy its untrue. Delete button is so tempting! Oh blimey, yes! Some of the things I said when I was 14...
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