For your amusement........
Alex Ferguson: Sex organ fuel
Andy Gray: Randy Gay
Bob Taylor: A Tory Blob
Charlton Athletic: Halt technical rot
Chelsea: Leaches
Claus Jensen: Uncle's Jeans
Crystal Palace: Crap alley cats
David Ginola: A livid gonad, vagina dildo
David Lee: Evil Dead
Dennis Bergkamp: Pink German beds
Fabrizio Ravanelli: Evil Brazilian afro
Francis Lee: Nice Flares
Gareth Southgate: Treat to huge shag
George Best: Go get beers
Gudni Bergsson: Undressing bog
Guns on bridges
Karlheinz Reidle: He killer red Nazi
Maine Road: I Am A Drone
A Dire Moan
No! I Am A Red
Manchester City: I'm Shy, Can't Erect
Synthetic cream
Manchester United: Urine detachments
The Entrained Scum
Stained hen rectum
Scum need the train
Leicester City: Electric Yetis
Match Of The Day: They of mad chat
Martin Keown: I'm not wanker
Nathan Blake: An ankle bath
Neil Cox: Lexicon
Paul Merson: Lump on arse
Peter Beardsley: Beery plastered
Peter Shilton: Enter hot lips
Queens Park Rangers: Ranger Spanks Queer
Robbie Elliott: Better boil oil
Scott Sellars: Let's toss Carl
Sheffield United: Defies Nude Filth
Stan Collymore: Measly control
Super John McGinlay: Sperm launching joy
Teddy Sheringham: He'd shag dirty men
West Bromwich Albion: I blame brown cow shit
Wolverhampton Wanderers: Old Woman perverts raw hen
Worst ever home drawn plan