Post by peter2dc on Sept 18, 2006 0:04:23 GMT -1
This has been a joy...I almost pissed myself reading the questions, I hope you enjoy the answers...I know my fellow prowlers and RBNO crew will have a field day...bastards! Fuck me...I will write more in a bit...but if my PC crashes I'll lose all me first answers...2nd part coming your way soon...
Having been married 17 times you clearly know a lot about women. Tell me Peter, what is the best way to keep them happy?
17 times is a slight exageration...JJ...but yes it has been twice too often! I am male, so the answer to 'knowing females' is redundent...NO MAN KNOWS THIS...However...constantly admitting you are wrong and getting a really crappy divorce lawyer has really made my last two ex wives very happy indeed.
I think you'll find that everything you HATE doing, is exactly what women LOVE doing...sooooo...for example...once you have shot your load, talk to her (I know its difficult, I like to roll over too...) But if you waffle for two minutes, and cuddle for five...she might even give you a decent blow job the next time!
Having been divorced 16 times, you clearly know nowt about women. Tell me Peter, why do you put yourself through the wringer time and time again?
I am a mug...there is one born every minute, which means there are 650,000,000 mugs born in china last year. I have always attracted abuse...I mean, for fucks sake...I support Leeds united!!!! On the other hand, divorcing all these women has made me a 'goto guy' for the males who WANT a divorce, but are too afraid to ask...I will be open for questions at the RBNO bash in October ($65.00 per hour)
By living in both Germany and the U.S.A have you picked up the traits of both nations ie: are you both stupid and lacking in a sense of humour?
If you have read the previous answers, you will know that I have been married once or twice, and hence have a rather thick skin...nagging wives will do that to you...just ask 'pussy whipped Pastie'...even though I have been to these countries, and still live in the States, I have NEVER let my guard down. I was abused for 9 years by bad german Humour...jokes such as 'difference between a jew and a cake?...cakes don't scream in an oven...or 'why do german showers have 11 holes?...cos jews have only got 10 fingers!...AND still I am funny as fuck...(as my wife will testify...she laughs everytime I fuck...boom boom...dammit ok a little german has crept in...) But YANK...no fucking way man, How can I respect a country that has abused our use of the letter 'U'...I mean its COLOUR...not COLOR...
Not to forget...I work with a whole bunch of brits at the embassy!
Have you ever had the temptation to just twat a stupid yank?
Is the pope catholic?...and does this question count if I already have...once or twice...? The first yank I twatted was in southern Germany, He said "Yo limey...you see this here M16, fuckin' amazin'...this shit will shoot the balls of a fly mothafuka...what's that piece of shit your holdi- ...TWAT...
fucking broke me finger 'n all!
how many times have you been asked "do you know the queen?" since you've been in america?
The number stands at 1,346...but what really BUGS the FUCK out of me...is that I HAVE!!!!!!( Dortmund, Germany 1986, Trooping of the coloUr...before you bloody ask!) Although, just as annoying is when they are not sure wether I am english...one yank asked "are you australian?...I said..."sorry, wrong hemisphere...he replied "oh, I'm sorry ...your from New Zealand" ...*TWAT* ...2nd yank....only kidding..although I wanted too!
You fly all the way to the RBNO piss up and they all turn out to be twats - what do you do?
Being a highly qualified twat myself, I smell (no pun intended) a great night out....the disturbing question would be if I showed up, and they are all normal!...I mean...who the fuck spends their life on a message board??? TWATS do!!!!! After spending hours talking to morton and pastie et al, I expect an average IQ of ten at the RBNO bash!
Is washington that bad that when an offer of a drink in Stafford comes up, you jump at the chance?
Does anywhere have to be bad to have a drink offered? I will swim the atlantic, trek the cold fronts of siberia, climb the fucking himalayas for a beer and a quick peak at Jens' boobies...but yeah...DC does suck in general...except George town...when the wife is 'outta town!'
The worst thing about DC is that Bush lives here...*TWAT*...I would you know...
You have to kill either Blair or Bush but you only have one bullet - who do you save and why?
Blair...Cos bush is such a c*nt...at least tony can repeat words with more than two syllables!
are you disappointed that people like PASTIE couldnt be arsed to make the effort for RBNO, considering you are coming across the atlantic to be there??
I find it almost inconcievable that Pastie can come up with excuses so readerly, I know he's a teacher, but to use his students excuses is a pathetic effort...his last one was " I would come, but my dog ate the train ticket!"...As for Jen and Jen...If they don't show up...heads will roll...they said..."I will show if jen shows"...in TWO DIFFERENT THREADS! I guess it must be confusing to those two as they are both called JEN
...I expect to be awarded a medal, 10 packet of fags 29 pints and a blond bit, for my own efforts (cheers roaster,Gres,Ster,Dan,JJ,Pastie,TGI,GFJ,spozz,morton and anyone else who shows up)
Liken your favourite Prowlers to farmyard animals - giving reasons for each choice.
Sterland = Carthorse: big bastard (not as big as gres) but a solid worker...although how the fuck he can roll a 10 pence with those hooves I dont know...
Gresley = Giraffe...(its a fucking african farm alright...) funny has fuck with bandy legs...
Roaster = bull ...mainly cos he's full of it...but have you seen his pic?
?scared the crap out of me the first time...
Pastie = albino-rat ...only seen at night...cunning little fucker, will turn on you in a flash and post some viscious rumour about gres and his council...
JJ and Hulsey = the tarty farm-yard cat...rarely seen in the prowlers corridor, cos its "too dirty"...and "not enough mirrors in there"
TGI = Mug ...I know not technically an animal...but he posts terrific secrets about about himself...
DTR = Pig ...oh...come...on...he supports man u fucking nited! (but fucking funny RBNO poster) (only wrote that in case he reads this) (disclaimer*)
Peter2dc = Donkey...married 3 times...huge cock...
Mrs H = Chicken...have you seen her breast???
GFJ = rabbit ...carnt keep anything in his pocket!
...have I missed anyone out?
Having been married 17 times you clearly know a lot about women. Tell me Peter, what is the best way to keep them happy?
17 times is a slight exageration...JJ...but yes it has been twice too often! I am male, so the answer to 'knowing females' is redundent...NO MAN KNOWS THIS...However...constantly admitting you are wrong and getting a really crappy divorce lawyer has really made my last two ex wives very happy indeed.
I think you'll find that everything you HATE doing, is exactly what women LOVE doing...sooooo...for example...once you have shot your load, talk to her (I know its difficult, I like to roll over too...) But if you waffle for two minutes, and cuddle for five...she might even give you a decent blow job the next time!
Having been divorced 16 times, you clearly know nowt about women. Tell me Peter, why do you put yourself through the wringer time and time again?
I am a mug...there is one born every minute, which means there are 650,000,000 mugs born in china last year. I have always attracted abuse...I mean, for fucks sake...I support Leeds united!!!! On the other hand, divorcing all these women has made me a 'goto guy' for the males who WANT a divorce, but are too afraid to ask...I will be open for questions at the RBNO bash in October ($65.00 per hour)
By living in both Germany and the U.S.A have you picked up the traits of both nations ie: are you both stupid and lacking in a sense of humour?
If you have read the previous answers, you will know that I have been married once or twice, and hence have a rather thick skin...nagging wives will do that to you...just ask 'pussy whipped Pastie'...even though I have been to these countries, and still live in the States, I have NEVER let my guard down. I was abused for 9 years by bad german Humour...jokes such as 'difference between a jew and a cake?...cakes don't scream in an oven...or 'why do german showers have 11 holes?...cos jews have only got 10 fingers!...AND still I am funny as fuck...(as my wife will testify...she laughs everytime I fuck...boom boom...dammit ok a little german has crept in...) But YANK...no fucking way man, How can I respect a country that has abused our use of the letter 'U'...I mean its COLOUR...not COLOR...
Not to forget...I work with a whole bunch of brits at the embassy!
Have you ever had the temptation to just twat a stupid yank?
Is the pope catholic?...and does this question count if I already have...once or twice...? The first yank I twatted was in southern Germany, He said "Yo limey...you see this here M16, fuckin' amazin'...this shit will shoot the balls of a fly mothafuka...what's that piece of shit your holdi- ...TWAT...
fucking broke me finger 'n all!
how many times have you been asked "do you know the queen?" since you've been in america?
The number stands at 1,346...but what really BUGS the FUCK out of me...is that I HAVE!!!!!!( Dortmund, Germany 1986, Trooping of the coloUr...before you bloody ask!) Although, just as annoying is when they are not sure wether I am english...one yank asked "are you australian?...I said..."sorry, wrong hemisphere...he replied "oh, I'm sorry ...your from New Zealand" ...*TWAT* ...2nd yank....only kidding..although I wanted too!
You fly all the way to the RBNO piss up and they all turn out to be twats - what do you do?
Being a highly qualified twat myself, I smell (no pun intended) a great night out....the disturbing question would be if I showed up, and they are all normal!...I mean...who the fuck spends their life on a message board??? TWATS do!!!!! After spending hours talking to morton and pastie et al, I expect an average IQ of ten at the RBNO bash!
Is washington that bad that when an offer of a drink in Stafford comes up, you jump at the chance?
Does anywhere have to be bad to have a drink offered? I will swim the atlantic, trek the cold fronts of siberia, climb the fucking himalayas for a beer and a quick peak at Jens' boobies...but yeah...DC does suck in general...except George town...when the wife is 'outta town!'
The worst thing about DC is that Bush lives here...*TWAT*...I would you know...
You have to kill either Blair or Bush but you only have one bullet - who do you save and why?
Blair...Cos bush is such a c*nt...at least tony can repeat words with more than two syllables!
are you disappointed that people like PASTIE couldnt be arsed to make the effort for RBNO, considering you are coming across the atlantic to be there??
I find it almost inconcievable that Pastie can come up with excuses so readerly, I know he's a teacher, but to use his students excuses is a pathetic effort...his last one was " I would come, but my dog ate the train ticket!"...As for Jen and Jen...If they don't show up...heads will roll...they said..."I will show if jen shows"...in TWO DIFFERENT THREADS! I guess it must be confusing to those two as they are both called JEN
...I expect to be awarded a medal, 10 packet of fags 29 pints and a blond bit, for my own efforts (cheers roaster,Gres,Ster,Dan,JJ,Pastie,TGI,GFJ,spozz,morton and anyone else who shows up)
Liken your favourite Prowlers to farmyard animals - giving reasons for each choice.
Sterland = Carthorse: big bastard (not as big as gres) but a solid worker...although how the fuck he can roll a 10 pence with those hooves I dont know...
Gresley = Giraffe...(its a fucking african farm alright...) funny has fuck with bandy legs...
Roaster = bull ...mainly cos he's full of it...but have you seen his pic?
?scared the crap out of me the first time...Pastie = albino-rat ...only seen at night...cunning little fucker, will turn on you in a flash and post some viscious rumour about gres and his council...
JJ and Hulsey = the tarty farm-yard cat...rarely seen in the prowlers corridor, cos its "too dirty"...and "not enough mirrors in there"
TGI = Mug ...I know not technically an animal...but he posts terrific secrets about about himself...
DTR = Pig ...oh...come...on...he supports man u fucking nited! (but fucking funny RBNO poster) (only wrote that in case he reads this) (disclaimer*)
Peter2dc = Donkey...married 3 times...huge cock...
Mrs H = Chicken...have you seen her breast???
GFJ = rabbit ...carnt keep anything in his pocket!
...have I missed anyone out?
...
