Post by ITFC Dudette6 on Jul 27, 2007 12:22:40 GMT -1
This was written in complete randomness by me and Katie, Katie came up with the ideas and I wrote them up. If you have not read the final book and wish to read it, then there are some spoilers in this, but only minimal.
For those of you that have read the book, you know that there is a '19 years later...' thing. This is an alternative version...
Standing at Kings Cross platform 10 and 3/4 (9 and 3/4 was destroyed in a recent attack by enchanted garden gnomes), Harry and his delusional wife Ginny are there with their three children, Tom, Marvolo and Riddle. Whilst the two lovebirds were standing on the old, cracked paving, Tom noticed one of them wobbling. Harry slid from his wife's grasp (she was clinging onto him to stop him going to see Cho Chang), to see what the fuss was.
As Harry approached the wobbling slab, the speed of wobble increased. And then Harry felt his head almost explode in pain. There was a smash, and right in front of him was Lord Voldemort. The person he thought he'd killed.
"Hello pitiful adult Harry" Lord Voldemort cackled evily, and pointed his long, now slightly beige, finger at Harry. "I can now do magic with my fingers" And out of nowhere he produced a cup of tea. "Here" he added, as he handed Harry the cup.
"Cheers Voldemort! You've changed" Harry looked up and smiled, but before he could do anything about it, Voldemort had pointed his middle finger at him and a jet of green light came out. He was knocked backwards and tripped over another cracked slab and landed right on a rusty nail that had once been Hedwig's cage. Voldemort’s laughing could be heard across the land, so then he dropped a puff of rainbow smoke and tried to disappear. His coughing was heard; "Oh bloody hell." and he the rainbow smoke turned into rainbow fire and engulfed his already thin body.
"Huzzah! Voldemort is dead" shouted a nerd in the crowd, but a deathly silence overcame as Ginny approached the limp Harry.
"Don't worry, he's always like that in bed" Ron shouted from the crowd.
Ginny slowly approached the body, and looked into Harry's eyes. Something in them said; "Yes Ginny, I am dead" and so Ginny stood up, turned round and grinned.
"HE'S DEAD!" she squeaked. "Now where's that sexy man Neville Longbottom?"
They heard the sound of a toad eating a hand, and she instantly knew where he was.
"Neville my love!"
"Ginny! You ginger Goddess!"
"You do realise that two of these children are yours?" she added, as the three children gathered around them.
Hermione had been watching these events from afar, and had kept her mouth shut for a good five minutes. She could not hold on. She loved Harry, and had got so confused when he went for Ginny. Hermione felt that Ginny's cruel treatment of her favourite person in the world could not be justified, so approached Ginny and spat;
"YOU LITTLE BITCH!" And punched Ginny in the face.
"What the...? Oh I see, you're just jealous that I had Harry while you were stuck with my brother!" Ginny growled. Hermione punched her again, and this time she didn't stop until Ginny hit the floor. Once she knew Ginny was unconcious, Hermione went outside to see the love of her life dead on the floor.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She screamed as she saw Harry’s pale and lifeless body spread on the floor. Steam was coming out of the New Hogwarts Express, and she could see the cogs slowly going into motion. This was it. She was going to join Harry in Wizard Heaven. She sprinted as fast as she could, and without a care for her children, jumped right in front of the train.
For the magical creature driving the train, this came as no surprise, and he continued to drive. But for the people on the platform, Hermione's blood has splashed all over them.
"Ewww, Muggle blood!" A child related to Draco Malfoy said.
And there, dazed and confused by the events that had just occured, stood Ronald Percius Weasley. To his right, his secret lover was dead; to his left his secret idol was dead. In front of him was his dead wife and all overall him was her blood, that dripped onto the platform and spread onto the tracks. He was completely bemused, and he saw Draco covered in his wife's blood, and thought that Draco was rather attractive.
"Oh Draco...!" He called, seductively.
"Yes Ronald?" Draco called back.
"Fancy going to see Hagrid?"
"Do I ever!" And so, they got out their broomsticks, and flew, hand in hand, to Hogwarts to the Headmaster's Office.
"Ohh Hagrid!" Draco and Ron said together as they landed in front of the guard of the office, "Fancy coming for a dip in the lake?"
Booms of the half giant were heard, and he was running down the stairs of the office to see his two lovers. He took their hands, and off they went to the Hogwarts Lake, for one happy dip.
And so, for the first time in his life, Ron had come out of the closet. And for the first time in 19 years since that fabled battle between The Half Dead Harry and The Volatile Voldement, everything really was fantabulous (as Ron would say).
For those of you that have read the book, you know that there is a '19 years later...' thing. This is an alternative version...
Harry Potter and the Alternative 19 Years Later
Standing at Kings Cross platform 10 and 3/4 (9 and 3/4 was destroyed in a recent attack by enchanted garden gnomes), Harry and his delusional wife Ginny are there with their three children, Tom, Marvolo and Riddle. Whilst the two lovebirds were standing on the old, cracked paving, Tom noticed one of them wobbling. Harry slid from his wife's grasp (she was clinging onto him to stop him going to see Cho Chang), to see what the fuss was.
As Harry approached the wobbling slab, the speed of wobble increased. And then Harry felt his head almost explode in pain. There was a smash, and right in front of him was Lord Voldemort. The person he thought he'd killed.
"Hello pitiful adult Harry" Lord Voldemort cackled evily, and pointed his long, now slightly beige, finger at Harry. "I can now do magic with my fingers" And out of nowhere he produced a cup of tea. "Here" he added, as he handed Harry the cup.
"Cheers Voldemort! You've changed" Harry looked up and smiled, but before he could do anything about it, Voldemort had pointed his middle finger at him and a jet of green light came out. He was knocked backwards and tripped over another cracked slab and landed right on a rusty nail that had once been Hedwig's cage. Voldemort’s laughing could be heard across the land, so then he dropped a puff of rainbow smoke and tried to disappear. His coughing was heard; "Oh bloody hell." and he the rainbow smoke turned into rainbow fire and engulfed his already thin body.
"Huzzah! Voldemort is dead" shouted a nerd in the crowd, but a deathly silence overcame as Ginny approached the limp Harry.
"Don't worry, he's always like that in bed" Ron shouted from the crowd.
Ginny slowly approached the body, and looked into Harry's eyes. Something in them said; "Yes Ginny, I am dead" and so Ginny stood up, turned round and grinned.
"HE'S DEAD!" she squeaked. "Now where's that sexy man Neville Longbottom?"
They heard the sound of a toad eating a hand, and she instantly knew where he was.
"Neville my love!"
"Ginny! You ginger Goddess!"
"You do realise that two of these children are yours?" she added, as the three children gathered around them.
Hermione had been watching these events from afar, and had kept her mouth shut for a good five minutes. She could not hold on. She loved Harry, and had got so confused when he went for Ginny. Hermione felt that Ginny's cruel treatment of her favourite person in the world could not be justified, so approached Ginny and spat;
"YOU LITTLE BITCH!" And punched Ginny in the face.
"What the...? Oh I see, you're just jealous that I had Harry while you were stuck with my brother!" Ginny growled. Hermione punched her again, and this time she didn't stop until Ginny hit the floor. Once she knew Ginny was unconcious, Hermione went outside to see the love of her life dead on the floor.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She screamed as she saw Harry’s pale and lifeless body spread on the floor. Steam was coming out of the New Hogwarts Express, and she could see the cogs slowly going into motion. This was it. She was going to join Harry in Wizard Heaven. She sprinted as fast as she could, and without a care for her children, jumped right in front of the train.
For the magical creature driving the train, this came as no surprise, and he continued to drive. But for the people on the platform, Hermione's blood has splashed all over them.
"Ewww, Muggle blood!" A child related to Draco Malfoy said.
And there, dazed and confused by the events that had just occured, stood Ronald Percius Weasley. To his right, his secret lover was dead; to his left his secret idol was dead. In front of him was his dead wife and all overall him was her blood, that dripped onto the platform and spread onto the tracks. He was completely bemused, and he saw Draco covered in his wife's blood, and thought that Draco was rather attractive.
"Oh Draco...!" He called, seductively.
"Yes Ronald?" Draco called back.
"Fancy going to see Hagrid?"
"Do I ever!" And so, they got out their broomsticks, and flew, hand in hand, to Hogwarts to the Headmaster's Office.
"Ohh Hagrid!" Draco and Ron said together as they landed in front of the guard of the office, "Fancy coming for a dip in the lake?"
Booms of the half giant were heard, and he was running down the stairs of the office to see his two lovers. He took their hands, and off they went to the Hogwarts Lake, for one happy dip.
And so, for the first time in his life, Ron had come out of the closet. And for the first time in 19 years since that fabled battle between The Half Dead Harry and The Volatile Voldement, everything really was fantabulous (as Ron would say).
The End.
By Katie and Hannah
By Katie and Hannah
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