Thought it would make it easier if all our secrets were on a single sheet on this thread. Fuck me my brain is sharp!! So her goes then
GRESLEYRAM
1. As a kid, I played for leicester Boys, much to the displeasure of my (derby mad) parents.
2. I took enough drugs as a teenager to tranquilise an army.
3. im the same height as an average ostrich.
4. I've been arrested (but not charged) for urinating in a public place (i was very, very drunk)
5. I have been hijacked by gunmen on a bus!
6. My favourite derby player of all time is Mark Wright (god)
7. I've had 'first date' sex several times, and i dont feel guilty about it!
8. My first Derby game was : Derby 5 - Swansea 1 (october 2nd 1984)
GOLDEN_BOY
1. I am actually a bit shy.
2. I have a large collection of ashtrays 'collected' from various holidays.
3. I have also taken a variety of drugs.
4. My middle name is very very rare.
5. I have yellow/red & black blood.
6. I had sex with someone I had known for under an hour last summer.
7. I have a few police convictions.
8. I was suspended for using a spud gun on a teacher at school.
ROASTER
1. Before supporting Leeds I followed Wolves (till I was 7 and 'smelt the coffee')
2. Started smoking aged 12.
3. Used to skive off school to sup homebrew at lunchtimes - whilst perusing my Dad's wank mags (13/14 at the time).
4. Have smoked various drugs.
5. Once so desperate for a smoke - myself and a friend tried in succession to smoke (using a sheet of newspaper) - straw - then mixed herbs. It resulted in a bit of house fire
6. Lost my viginity at 18 (football was more important)
7. Arrested for football violence (it was against Leicester - Valentines Day 1986)
8. Thrown out of Germany after the 1986 World Cup Final (when Argies bt Germany)
And my bonus one:
Between my 2nd and 3rd engagements (for marriage) I was shagging a married lass from the office. Took her home one lunchtime for the first time - he said she wasn't on the pill (trying for a child with hubby) - I said it was OK; I'd had testicular cancer and was firing blanks! Must have fucked her a dozen times before dumping her. She left work cos she was she was pregnant.
GOALPOSTS FOR JUMPERS
1. I lied at my only Catholic Confessional.
2. I completed the entire Panini Football 86 Sticker Album by nicking packs of stickers from the newsagent when I was a paperboy back, not surprisingly, in 1986.
3. I stole a Walnut from the local shop and roaster always goaded me about and threatened to tell our parents. I was only five years old for fuck's sake.
4. these aren;t going well - need some good secrets......erm....I met Geofrey Boycott at Old trafford (must try harder.....going from bad to worse)
5. I grassed my mates up to the police when they pushed someone's garden wall over...
6. I've completed Grand theft Auto 3, Vice City and San Andreas to 100% without using cheat codes
7. I've fancied Kylie Minogue since she was in Neighbours. My wife has to buy me a new Kylie Calendar every year....
8. I voted Lib Dem at the last election.
AND Poaching, Destroying church property, Usual drugs
PASTIE
1 - My father reads these pages so I shall watch what I put!
2 - I have appeared in numerous pantomines and even wrote one or two and yes I have been an ugly sister
3 - I was once cheated on then dumped on Valentine's night and the date has passed unrecognised ever since.
4 - I have a First Class Honours Degree but did no work for it and whilst I didn't actually cheat in the final exams I "played the system" sufficiently well
5 - I once stood in a urinal between Graeme Garden and Bill Oddie when the Goodies were at their peak (pardon the expression)
6 - I once received treatment in a Venezuelan hospital that was very invasive, was described as "Medieval" by my GP and I had no anaesthetic
7 - I have been stalked twice
8 - I once had a webcam chat with Lollipop very late at night
INCREDIBLE HULSE
1) I took the role as Widow Twanky for the Aladdin school play.....
2) I've had a fight and beat up one of my best mates for cheating on his bird......
3) I met George Best in the Alan Knight suite after watching Pompey v Leeds and had a chat with him (Got a signed shirt also )
4) I've met and had a drink with Shane Warne and Keven Pietersen.....
5) I know that one of my mates is actually gay and i am the only one to know..... (Don't start with the funnies!)
6) I've slept with twins......
7) I drove a car illegaly (spelling?)
8) Ive gone very close to sleeping with a mates mum only to pull out before it was too late......
Thought of some more....
9) I bought the first Busted single......shame
10) I am quater/half maltease thanks to my pop
11) I don't know if this counts but i am *going* to dive with Great Whites in a cage later this year.....
STERLAND
1 I have spent 20 months out of my 34 years in jail in two different countries.
2 In 1993 I was banned from every football ground in the country for 5 years for Public Order Offences under the then Football Holliganism Act.
3 I started my own business because I couldn't get a job.
4 I had a spare key for a car I sold a year earlier, saw it outside a club when I came out fucked up and took it home, dropping it about a half a mile away from my house saving me a 30 quid taxi.
5 I wore a Liverpool shirt for the first eight years of my life.
6 I gave a bartender 20 quid to put me on a 'flash fucking Harrys' tab that had a credit card tab and was footing the bill for his works night out. And drank almost a bottle of 15 YO Laphroig on it costing him almost 200 quid.
7 I bought a 2500 pound Plasma TV on a shopping channel when fucked up, when it arrived I damaged it and sent it back and 'disgusted' as I was at the inferior goods claimed a full refund.
8 Repeatedly cheated on my girlfriend when working the door at a club in Sheffield. Last woman I have ever cheated on and never will again..
There we go fellas!
(Note to self - don't fuck with Mel when he's pissed)