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Post by Sterland (S4E) on Jul 15, 2006 19:42:52 GMT -1
Think you have one that will grace the stage? Think the big man can deliver it whilst sweating like two pig in a plastic bag? Just want to help Ro get a career of the the council payroll so we ALL pay a lot less tax? Then stick 'em here and give the jester some ammo!
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Post by Sterland (S4E) on Jul 15, 2006 19:43:53 GMT -1
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area.
Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries
about being eaten." A large mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted", and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark.
Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.
Time passed (as it invariably does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away
whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.
While swimming alone one day he saw the cod again and he thought that perhaps the fish could change him back into a prawn. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail.
(The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse). Looking around the gathering at the reef he realized he couldn't see his old pal.
"Where's Christian?" he asked.
"He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark", came the reply.
Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's abode. As he opened the coral gate memories came flooding back.
He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again." Christian replied, "No way
man, you'll eat me.
You're now a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked into being Your dinner." Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me.
I've changed."
Wait for it
Wait for it
"I've found Cod. I'm a prawn again Christian".
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Post by redwhine on Jul 15, 2006 21:00:04 GMT -1
In a village in Wales, there were so many people called Evans that they had extra names to distinguish them, like Chippy Evans, the carpenter, and Druggy Evans, the chemist.
Three of them, Post Evans, the postman, Level Evans who operated the level crossing, and Mine Evans the coalminer, were best mates.
One evening, Level Evans went home early, and caught his wife in bed with another man, and killed them both in a fit of rage. He soon found himself on trial for murder - and it was in the days before capital punishment was abolished.
On the day that the jury were considering the verdict, Mine Evans had to do a shift down the pit, and couldn't attend the courthouse. Post Evans promised to keep him informed.
Mine Evans was filthy when he got home, and had a bath. There was a knock at the door and he jumped out of the bath and ran to the door stark naked. He opened the door and Post Evans said "They're not hanging Level Evans"
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