Post by Travis on Mar 17, 2008 9:43:02 GMT -1
Well as promised it's Monday and here there are. Honest, cringe-worthy and excessively long-winded......feel happy in the fact that I have indeed been squirming! Apologies in advance to anybody who having read the thread, is tempted to take a large mallet to my skull.
Gits! ;D
PART 1!!
1. In what era do you think was the best ever Leeds team? Name your all time best 11.
Well the side of the late 1960's and early 1970's was undoubtedly our finest, though it seems a little futile to name a best XI comprising of players I've never seen in the flesh, so I'll go with the best players I watched in my time at Elland Road....
Martyn, Sterland, Dorigo, Radebe, Woodgate, Strachan, Batty, McAllister, Kewell, Viduka, Yeboah.
Oh, and a subs bench : Matteo, Speed, Sheridan, Dacourt, Smith
2. A boys night out on the piss, which 6 606’s would you choose and why?
GRES - If that freak of nature is ever going to exploit his height, it will be for getting noticed at the bar.
COYS - I've never been party to cockney knees up, Kev could change all that as he'll naturally be intimately acquainted with the entire Chas 'n' Dave back-catalogue.
TC - Every potentially messy night needs a calming and mature influence. Unfortunately I couldn't think of anyone so TC will have to do, merely on account of him being an old bugger. I'd also be intrigued to see if he can use a cashpoint.
JULES - Just to see if we could get him talk dirty in Latin to the barmaid, oh and to see him croon on the karaoke
LUCAS - He can talk the talk, but can he walk the walk? I want to see the fella 'bring the funk' on the dance floor!
THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS HULSEY - We could sneak in an extra round or two every time he goes to the toilet!
3. Do you think Northern beer(shandy) should have less tax levied on it cos it contains less alcohol?
I would agree that if you were to purchase a full pint glass of beer of the same stated ABV in the North it would contain marginally less alcohol, but then again the pubs up here have a leave a little room for the head.
4. During your rounds as a Postie have any ladies invited you in to “lick” their stamps?
No, though plenty of them have asked if I minded coming into their back entrance.
5. Whats the best film saga out of Star Wars and Lord of the Rings? and state your reasons.
I was one of the 'Star Wars generation'. I can still remember being completely blown away when I first saw Episode IV, and The Empire Strikes Back is undoubtedly - bar The Godfather Pt.II - the greatest sequel ever made, and I still like Return of the Jedi, give or take a few hundred Ewoks! Unfortunately the pre-quels were an utter bag of toss, a cynical marketing exercise personified by Jar Jar f***king Binks.
Looking at things objectively , The Lord Of The Rings trilogy, despite my in ital reservations was an immense cinematic achievement. In terms of acting, dialogue and direction the films are far superior, and I'm sure the forthcoming adaptation of The Hobbit won't undermine their legacy. Never thought I'd say it, but I'd have to go with the latter.
That said, 2001 : A Space Odyssey and Pan's Labyrinth are better films within the respective genres.
6. What do you think of this Country's Immigration laws?
Personally speaking, I think the UK is perceived as a soft touch by some immigrants who seek to exploit the benefits system, and the flood of incomers has far exceeded manageable levels. I have no issues with anybody who moves to the UK with the intention of working and contributing to the economy, nor any person who had moved to escape persecution. However, with the crippling social housing shortages, rising government debt and the inevitable extra burden on the taxpayer, I support any moves to test the credentials of the more 'dubious' applicants.
I often wonder just what Britain gains from EU membership, and the 'free movement' doctrine is just another case in point for me. The French for example are far more stringent with regards to immigration, but politicians seem terrified of the spectre of political correctness in this country, regardless of whether something is wrong in principle or not.
I think that's the only serious question....phew!! ;D
7. Whats the 3 best things about being a mod?
The 'God complex', the staff room bitching and having my name in purple. ;D
8. If you could ban one member who would it be?
I wouldn't so much want to ban him, but it would be tempting to delete TC's account, just to see how long it would take him to find his way back on to the boards
9. Which would you rather have sexual relations with Spozz, Lolly or Mrs H?!
Well I'm surprised I got as far as question 9 before the really dubious questions started to kick in!! ;D
Being a man of integrity (don't laugh!!) it would seem a little strange to ponder sexual relations with the Leeds ladies, their tender years ensure that I would've been conceivably old enough to have fathered them, had I grown up in a undesirable area of the city. That would just leave H.......good job she's a passable old bird!
10. Who wins when you play soggy biscuit with POG?
LOL! Well I got the impression that this wasn't in reference to dunking a digestive into a cup of Tetley's. Just looked it up.....how educational!! That's not a game I could not anticipate losing!
11. Which of the 606 girls would you date?
That (seemingly) unsurprisingly would be Laura. In person she is every bit as funny and intelligent as she is on the boards, she has a twinkle in her eye and is also actually quite softly spoken.......which was in contrast to loud and brash Northern lass I was half-expecting!
12. Do you believe you are intellectually superior to everyone?
Lol, who the hell asked this? Well I'm not sure what exactly prompted the question, but I wouldn't consider myself to be exceptionally intelligent in any respect, and would consider that at least half a dozen posters who I chat with regularly are considerably brighter.
13. Have you roasted H with Cav?
I have not yet met Cav, though if I did in H's presence and she was to step out of line, then I wouldn't hesitate to tell her off quite vigorously!
14. Does H give you head whilst watching you favourite film?
Surely it would be difficult for somebody to concentrate on watching the film if they were performing the said act. Call me old-fashioned, but I'd be happy enough to have her to lean on and feed me Maltesers. ;D
15. Liken 5 606ers to the characters in Lock Stock
Oh c'mon, gimme a break! i haven't seen that in about a decade!! Erm, well Hurls could be the Jason Statham character, Lucas would be the fella with the afro, then another 3 random cockney-ish types.....Mozza, Mr M and COYS!!
16. Does your mother knit your jumpers?
Don't be ridiculous, I'm 35!!!!........she only does my bed socks now.
17. Explain your hatred for Man U, as the Man U fans I know say Leeds are just an irritation. Like a boil on your arse so to speak.
Manchester United are a hateful commercial enterprise, not a football club, and a level of arrogance pervades from the club that is unparalleled in world football. Any club that brands it's own stadium as 'The Theatre Of Dreams', is managed by the most petulant and blinkered man of the modern era, basks in the fact that 99% of their fan base never have or indeed will actually go to a game and indeed would not even recognise Ronaldo if he tripped over them........need I go on?
I've no problem with anybody who actually 'supports' a club, ie. goes to see them play. It's all the mindless pricks I see walking around shopping centres in football shirts - despite the fact that 'their team' is playing at home, or is even live on the TV at the time - that do my head in! Needless to say, many wear Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool shirts, but no club corners the market like Man Utd.
Nice to know they still remember us though.
18. Do you agree Leed's only international fame is Sutcliffe
Am I right to infer from this appallingly constructed sentence that you are making reference to the Yorkshire Ripper? If this is the case, then it merely reveals a petty jealousy of the city that gave to the world Jimmy Savile and the woman who plays Vera Duckworth!!
19. You really were looking at my arse when I was bowling weren't you?
Laura, really!! What do you take me for? It would've been impolite not to watch you bowl, especially as us substandard bowlers really need to stick together, and besides I needed to study bowling techniques in order to enhance my own game.............oh alright, so I did cop a look at your arse!!! ;D
PS. 9/10
20. Do you have blisters on your palms?
My hands are smooth and unblemished, and one wank a day isn't going to change that, Missy! ;D
21. How many poison arrow frogs tall are you?
Well I'm somewhere between 5ft 10 and 5ft 11, so that would equate to 70 of those frogs, if the one at the top wore a bowler hat.
22. Which 5 606er's best represent your favourite characters from World Cinema?
TC - DEATH (THE SEVENTH SEAL) : Well he's the closest we'll find on here! ;D
CHOPPER - PORCO ROSSO (PORCO ROSSO) : A man with a military background of sorts, on the surface some newcomers may regard him as a bit of a pig from time to time, but on closer inspection there's a good bloke to be found.
DUDETTE - MANON (MANON DES SOURCES) : Country girl who used her intelligence to reap revenge on those who starved her father's farm of water
MRS H - YAMAZAKI ASAMI (AUDITION) - A striking looking young lady with a penchant for domination and S&M!
IMP - THE TEACHER (ETRE ET AVOIR) - A teacher with a huge passion for her pupils.....hope I'm not overselling you here, Sar.
23. You are a self confessed 'film buff' so name your top 5 sex scenes of all time and the reasons why.
I'm not sure cinema's really thrown up that many hugely sexy 'sex scenes', so I'll go with my most memorable.......for any number of reasons.
BASIC INSTINCT - Just because the video tape of that movie served me very well as an adolescent!
BETTY BLUE - The first ever foreign film I watched, I was in my teens at the time so I'm sure you can guess my motivations.
CLERKS 2 - The bondage guy, Kinky Kelly the horse and one devout Christian lad with his pants around his ankles.....you just have to see it!!
SECRETARY - Maggie Gyllenhaal leaning over the desk, asking to be 'punished' for her typo's!
BLUE VELVET - Dennis Hopper, wearing an oxygen mask, crying out to Isabella Rossellini repeatedly "Baby wants to fuck!".......weird, but that's David Lynch for you.
24. Whilst going to the cinema, have you ever tried the 'cock through the popcorn' trick?? If not explain why?
I must confess that I have, but I won't be doing it ever again. The girl in the foyer who was serving it at the time went ballistic!
25. Shane Meadows offers you a speaking role in his next film in return for 'bum sex' - in no less than 50 words, tell us your considered reply to this offer.
Interesting question Gres!!
Well I suppose in the name of my art I may have to give serious thought to slipping him a length, if he agreed to turn the lights out.......oh wait a minute, are you suggesting that I'm going to be receiving?! Erm, let's negotitate.....how about a hand job for a cameo!?
26. Do you find Spozz even sexier now she is your boss??
To be fair I've not really noticed a difference, she's always been the dominant one, and me the submissive in our relationship. I tolerate it though, after all she's just like the feisty, cool, half-Chinese lil' sister I've always wanted. ;D
27. Liken 5 606'ers to your favourite 'cinema snacks' giving full explanations.
CHOPPER - Hot dog : A man who appreciates the simplicity of sticking a sausage between some baps.
MRS H - Popcorn : A classic choice with timeless appeal, highly recommended for those who like to fumble in the dark.
LOLLY - Fab : Slender, easy on the eye and an ice lolly..... obviously!
DUDETTE - A Wall's Feast : A comparative giant within her field, a bit nutty, and popular with all.
OG - A 'bucket sized coke' : A gargantuan American import. Brash, in yer face and unavoidable......yet regularly hits the spot.
28. You can fuck 1 film star past or present - who do you choose and why?
Hell that's a tricky question! I must admit to feeling quite drawn to Natalie Portman at the moment. Then again I've always liked Kate Winslet and I reckon she'd make a mean fry-up in the morning so I'll go with her. ;D
29. Trav. we ALL know you support the Lilly White Leeds; however, if you ever "Harden the Fuck Up" what REAL team would you support?
So the 'Dirty Leeds' tag has been well and truly shaken then? Well if I need to choose a 'hard' side, that discounts any side south of Yorkshire then. I hear that Ossett Albion are a bunch of dirty f**kers.
30. How old were you when you lost your cherry and describe the circumstances leading up to your first time.
I think I was 16, maybe 17 if not. It was with my first girlfriend, who wasn't exactly the most enthusiastic in that regard, but the bank where she'd got a job had organised a coach trip to Paris, so her excuses were running thin. It was.......underwhelming!
Gits! ;D
PART 1!!
1. In what era do you think was the best ever Leeds team? Name your all time best 11.
Well the side of the late 1960's and early 1970's was undoubtedly our finest, though it seems a little futile to name a best XI comprising of players I've never seen in the flesh, so I'll go with the best players I watched in my time at Elland Road....
Martyn, Sterland, Dorigo, Radebe, Woodgate, Strachan, Batty, McAllister, Kewell, Viduka, Yeboah.
Oh, and a subs bench : Matteo, Speed, Sheridan, Dacourt, Smith
2. A boys night out on the piss, which 6 606’s would you choose and why?
GRES - If that freak of nature is ever going to exploit his height, it will be for getting noticed at the bar.
COYS - I've never been party to cockney knees up, Kev could change all that as he'll naturally be intimately acquainted with the entire Chas 'n' Dave back-catalogue.
TC - Every potentially messy night needs a calming and mature influence. Unfortunately I couldn't think of anyone so TC will have to do, merely on account of him being an old bugger. I'd also be intrigued to see if he can use a cashpoint.
JULES - Just to see if we could get him talk dirty in Latin to the barmaid, oh and to see him croon on the karaoke
LUCAS - He can talk the talk, but can he walk the walk? I want to see the fella 'bring the funk' on the dance floor!
THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS HULSEY - We could sneak in an extra round or two every time he goes to the toilet!
3. Do you think Northern beer(shandy) should have less tax levied on it cos it contains less alcohol?
I would agree that if you were to purchase a full pint glass of beer of the same stated ABV in the North it would contain marginally less alcohol, but then again the pubs up here have a leave a little room for the head.
4. During your rounds as a Postie have any ladies invited you in to “lick” their stamps?
No, though plenty of them have asked if I minded coming into their back entrance.
5. Whats the best film saga out of Star Wars and Lord of the Rings? and state your reasons.
I was one of the 'Star Wars generation'. I can still remember being completely blown away when I first saw Episode IV, and The Empire Strikes Back is undoubtedly - bar The Godfather Pt.II - the greatest sequel ever made, and I still like Return of the Jedi, give or take a few hundred Ewoks! Unfortunately the pre-quels were an utter bag of toss, a cynical marketing exercise personified by Jar Jar f***king Binks.
Looking at things objectively , The Lord Of The Rings trilogy, despite my in ital reservations was an immense cinematic achievement. In terms of acting, dialogue and direction the films are far superior, and I'm sure the forthcoming adaptation of The Hobbit won't undermine their legacy. Never thought I'd say it, but I'd have to go with the latter.
That said, 2001 : A Space Odyssey and Pan's Labyrinth are better films within the respective genres.
6. What do you think of this Country's Immigration laws?
Personally speaking, I think the UK is perceived as a soft touch by some immigrants who seek to exploit the benefits system, and the flood of incomers has far exceeded manageable levels. I have no issues with anybody who moves to the UK with the intention of working and contributing to the economy, nor any person who had moved to escape persecution. However, with the crippling social housing shortages, rising government debt and the inevitable extra burden on the taxpayer, I support any moves to test the credentials of the more 'dubious' applicants.
I often wonder just what Britain gains from EU membership, and the 'free movement' doctrine is just another case in point for me. The French for example are far more stringent with regards to immigration, but politicians seem terrified of the spectre of political correctness in this country, regardless of whether something is wrong in principle or not.
I think that's the only serious question....phew!! ;D
7. Whats the 3 best things about being a mod?
The 'God complex', the staff room bitching and having my name in purple. ;D
8. If you could ban one member who would it be?
I wouldn't so much want to ban him, but it would be tempting to delete TC's account, just to see how long it would take him to find his way back on to the boards
9. Which would you rather have sexual relations with Spozz, Lolly or Mrs H?!
Well I'm surprised I got as far as question 9 before the really dubious questions started to kick in!! ;D
Being a man of integrity (don't laugh!!) it would seem a little strange to ponder sexual relations with the Leeds ladies, their tender years ensure that I would've been conceivably old enough to have fathered them, had I grown up in a undesirable area of the city. That would just leave H.......good job she's a passable old bird!
10. Who wins when you play soggy biscuit with POG?
LOL! Well I got the impression that this wasn't in reference to dunking a digestive into a cup of Tetley's. Just looked it up.....how educational!! That's not a game I could not anticipate losing!
11. Which of the 606 girls would you date?
That (seemingly) unsurprisingly would be Laura. In person she is every bit as funny and intelligent as she is on the boards, she has a twinkle in her eye and is also actually quite softly spoken.......which was in contrast to loud and brash Northern lass I was half-expecting!
12. Do you believe you are intellectually superior to everyone?
Lol, who the hell asked this? Well I'm not sure what exactly prompted the question, but I wouldn't consider myself to be exceptionally intelligent in any respect, and would consider that at least half a dozen posters who I chat with regularly are considerably brighter.
13. Have you roasted H with Cav?
I have not yet met Cav, though if I did in H's presence and she was to step out of line, then I wouldn't hesitate to tell her off quite vigorously!
14. Does H give you head whilst watching you favourite film?
Surely it would be difficult for somebody to concentrate on watching the film if they were performing the said act. Call me old-fashioned, but I'd be happy enough to have her to lean on and feed me Maltesers. ;D
15. Liken 5 606ers to the characters in Lock Stock
Oh c'mon, gimme a break! i haven't seen that in about a decade!! Erm, well Hurls could be the Jason Statham character, Lucas would be the fella with the afro, then another 3 random cockney-ish types.....Mozza, Mr M and COYS!!
16. Does your mother knit your jumpers?
Don't be ridiculous, I'm 35!!!!........she only does my bed socks now.
17. Explain your hatred for Man U, as the Man U fans I know say Leeds are just an irritation. Like a boil on your arse so to speak.
Manchester United are a hateful commercial enterprise, not a football club, and a level of arrogance pervades from the club that is unparalleled in world football. Any club that brands it's own stadium as 'The Theatre Of Dreams', is managed by the most petulant and blinkered man of the modern era, basks in the fact that 99% of their fan base never have or indeed will actually go to a game and indeed would not even recognise Ronaldo if he tripped over them........need I go on?
I've no problem with anybody who actually 'supports' a club, ie. goes to see them play. It's all the mindless pricks I see walking around shopping centres in football shirts - despite the fact that 'their team' is playing at home, or is even live on the TV at the time - that do my head in! Needless to say, many wear Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool shirts, but no club corners the market like Man Utd.
Nice to know they still remember us though.
18. Do you agree Leed's only international fame is Sutcliffe
Am I right to infer from this appallingly constructed sentence that you are making reference to the Yorkshire Ripper? If this is the case, then it merely reveals a petty jealousy of the city that gave to the world Jimmy Savile and the woman who plays Vera Duckworth!!
19. You really were looking at my arse when I was bowling weren't you?
Laura, really!! What do you take me for? It would've been impolite not to watch you bowl, especially as us substandard bowlers really need to stick together, and besides I needed to study bowling techniques in order to enhance my own game.............oh alright, so I did cop a look at your arse!!! ;D
PS. 9/10
20. Do you have blisters on your palms?
My hands are smooth and unblemished, and one wank a day isn't going to change that, Missy! ;D
21. How many poison arrow frogs tall are you?
Well I'm somewhere between 5ft 10 and 5ft 11, so that would equate to 70 of those frogs, if the one at the top wore a bowler hat.
22. Which 5 606er's best represent your favourite characters from World Cinema?
TC - DEATH (THE SEVENTH SEAL) : Well he's the closest we'll find on here! ;D
CHOPPER - PORCO ROSSO (PORCO ROSSO) : A man with a military background of sorts, on the surface some newcomers may regard him as a bit of a pig from time to time, but on closer inspection there's a good bloke to be found.
DUDETTE - MANON (MANON DES SOURCES) : Country girl who used her intelligence to reap revenge on those who starved her father's farm of water
MRS H - YAMAZAKI ASAMI (AUDITION) - A striking looking young lady with a penchant for domination and S&M!
IMP - THE TEACHER (ETRE ET AVOIR) - A teacher with a huge passion for her pupils.....hope I'm not overselling you here, Sar.
23. You are a self confessed 'film buff' so name your top 5 sex scenes of all time and the reasons why.
I'm not sure cinema's really thrown up that many hugely sexy 'sex scenes', so I'll go with my most memorable.......for any number of reasons.
BASIC INSTINCT - Just because the video tape of that movie served me very well as an adolescent!
BETTY BLUE - The first ever foreign film I watched, I was in my teens at the time so I'm sure you can guess my motivations.
CLERKS 2 - The bondage guy, Kinky Kelly the horse and one devout Christian lad with his pants around his ankles.....you just have to see it!!
SECRETARY - Maggie Gyllenhaal leaning over the desk, asking to be 'punished' for her typo's!
BLUE VELVET - Dennis Hopper, wearing an oxygen mask, crying out to Isabella Rossellini repeatedly "Baby wants to fuck!".......weird, but that's David Lynch for you.
24. Whilst going to the cinema, have you ever tried the 'cock through the popcorn' trick?? If not explain why?
I must confess that I have, but I won't be doing it ever again. The girl in the foyer who was serving it at the time went ballistic!
25. Shane Meadows offers you a speaking role in his next film in return for 'bum sex' - in no less than 50 words, tell us your considered reply to this offer.
Interesting question Gres!!
Well I suppose in the name of my art I may have to give serious thought to slipping him a length, if he agreed to turn the lights out.......oh wait a minute, are you suggesting that I'm going to be receiving?! Erm, let's negotitate.....how about a hand job for a cameo!?
26. Do you find Spozz even sexier now she is your boss??
To be fair I've not really noticed a difference, she's always been the dominant one, and me the submissive in our relationship. I tolerate it though, after all she's just like the feisty, cool, half-Chinese lil' sister I've always wanted. ;D
27. Liken 5 606'ers to your favourite 'cinema snacks' giving full explanations.
CHOPPER - Hot dog : A man who appreciates the simplicity of sticking a sausage between some baps.
MRS H - Popcorn : A classic choice with timeless appeal, highly recommended for those who like to fumble in the dark.
LOLLY - Fab : Slender, easy on the eye and an ice lolly..... obviously!
DUDETTE - A Wall's Feast : A comparative giant within her field, a bit nutty, and popular with all.
OG - A 'bucket sized coke' : A gargantuan American import. Brash, in yer face and unavoidable......yet regularly hits the spot.
28. You can fuck 1 film star past or present - who do you choose and why?
Hell that's a tricky question! I must admit to feeling quite drawn to Natalie Portman at the moment. Then again I've always liked Kate Winslet and I reckon she'd make a mean fry-up in the morning so I'll go with her. ;D
29. Trav. we ALL know you support the Lilly White Leeds; however, if you ever "Harden the Fuck Up" what REAL team would you support?
So the 'Dirty Leeds' tag has been well and truly shaken then? Well if I need to choose a 'hard' side, that discounts any side south of Yorkshire then. I hear that Ossett Albion are a bunch of dirty f**kers.
30. How old were you when you lost your cherry and describe the circumstances leading up to your first time.
I think I was 16, maybe 17 if not. It was with my first girlfriend, who wasn't exactly the most enthusiastic in that regard, but the bank where she'd got a job had organised a coach trip to Paris, so her excuses were running thin. It was.......underwhelming!