Post by JJ on Sept 23, 2006 22:54:08 GMT -1
Too much for one night. Rest to follow tomorrow at some stage. Any offence caused is purely intentional
Being an old fart, how do you manage to still get women?
Ah, a nice easy one to kick off with. I often ask myself the same question. Charm, good looks, wit – I fail on all 3 counts. Perhaps it’s the offer of money that seals it? Seriously kids, just be yourself. And, as Thin Lizzy famously sang “If the chick don’t wanna know, forget her”
How many fishy’s fit on a little dishy, and why?
237. If you pile them on top of each other. Why? Because that’s the answer!
You turn gay! Which 606’er do you do( pick one, plus one back up)
This is one I’ve given a lot of thought to, and not just upon receiving the question. You have to prepare for every eventuality in life. First choice would have to be Cav. The bloke has such an amazing physique that I’m sure he gets the come on from both sexes all the time. And his openness about loving the colour pink shows how comfortable he is with his bi-sexuality. So Cav would be my choice for a long lasting intimate, loving relationship.
As a back up, I would need someone just to bum bash hard and fast for the sheer hell of it. Someone who would protest strenuously but really be loving it. Obviously must be Morton.
Compare the prowlers to sexual aids, explain each!
Gres – big, black mamba of a dildo. A giant amongst mere mortal dildos
Roaster – Rampant Rabbit. The original and most loved accessory
Peter – super deluxe blow up doll. Top of the range. All working parts. No need to get married again Pete!!!
Dan – butt plug. Sorry mate, but you’re a man u fan
Ster- a pocket pussy. For when infidelity isn’t an option, and some hot bird on a job clearly is trying to tell you something.
Pastie – stay hard cream. Comes when everyone else has finished for the night
What were his first impressions when he saw Spozz and Lollipop at the Leeds game?
First impressions were, as I expected, that they both were lovely. In both looks and personality. Spozz appears to be the same in real life as she is on here, very dry. Lollipop is just the sweetest girl in the world
Was he mad he missed the first Leeds goal?
Not mad exactly however slightly aggrieved seeing as I arrived at the ground about 5 hours before kick off to beat the queues. Lolly thought they said it was Moore who scored and we all fell about laughing hysterically at the thought. Little did we know what would follow. No, it was ok really
What are his feelings towards pigeons?
Pigeons are one of God’s creations and should be treated with respect. Unless of course one shits on your suit on the way to work in which case you shoot the bastard, make a lovely pie out of it and serve with seasonal vegetables and a nice bottle of Chablis. Aired to room temperature of course (the Chablis, not the pie and veg)
When are you expected to be valid for a bus pass and a pension book?
I believe that happens at age 65. In which case I have another 26 years to wait (fuck me, that doesn’t sound long)
Do you blame yourself for Leeds downfall seeing as there is an alarmingly similar rate of free fall between Leeds going down through the league table and you’re ever sagging man boobs?
Personally, I find the link between Leeds downfall and my man boobs is somewhat tenuous. And, I’ll have you know, my man boobs aren’t sagging at all. Quite pert in fact. No, the only person to blame is Peter Ridsdale.
What is lollipops phone number?
I made a vow to myself that I would answer each question completely honestly (or lie, depending on the question). Jen’s telephone no is 07….no I can’t, really I can’t
Beach volleyball?
a good sport or is it just men's new way of legally being able to watch bouncing mammories now that baywatch isnt shown on tv so much these days?
Excellent sport. The players need to be remarkably fit and also extremely talented. Granted, it also helps if the women are generously endowed in the boob department and have stunning good looks. But that is incidental. Can women not be appreciated for their sporting talents as opposed to mere sex objects? Nah, course not.
Name your 5 likes and dislikes in a woman
Likes
Nice arse
Nice legs
Nice tits
Nice eyes
Nice personality
Dislikes
The opposite of the above
Have you ever met a message board poster for the purpose of romance / sex ?
What do you take me for? No, don’t answer that. The 100% honest answer to that is no, I haven’t. Still time though
Can you ever see Leeds getting back in the premiership ?
Of course I can. Might not be this season or even next season but we will be back one day. We are a massive club but a sleeping giant. Once the finances are sorted, and a new manger is in situ, we will soon return to our rightful place in the top tier.
What's the most romantic gesture you've ever made?
When my wife (girlfriend at the time) was at university in York and living in halls, I surprised her by turning up for a long weekend and booking us into a posh hotel. Had also booked a nice restaurant, and that is where I proposed to her. What a bloody waste of money that turned out to be
According to your poll, you're a bit of a bastard, are you? Or do we just bring the best out in you?
Forgot to check the final result of that poll. Thanks for reminding me!!! I suppose it depends on your definition of a bastard. I’m principled, arrogant, blunt speaking and don’t suffer fools gladly. If that makes me a bastard, then yes I am. There are some great people on this board and yes, you do bring out the best (or worst depending on your viewpoint) in me.
We all know you're partial to the odd round of flirting but given the chance (no strings and all that shit) who would you shag? (Coz we all know you need one)
Now there’s a question and a half!!! Flirting is a way of life with me. Always done it and was 5 times as bad on the old BBC MB! It’s harmless fun but I would be mortified if anyone was to take it seriously! Ok, based on either looks and/or personality and regardless of the fact I am far too old for them and wouldn’t stand a chance I would have to say
Mrs H
SSW
Spurrsgirl
Sorry ladies!
Who in your opinion is the most intelligent poster on the board?
Difficult to say. Of the older ones, RJFC, Pastie and Peter seem like intelligent people. Morton’s not as daft as he makes out. Neku could well be intelligent if I understood what he was on about. MagicSkyBlue, A2V and Shippers are all clever guys too. And I have a very strong suspicion that Cav is a very bright chap and his MB persona is just a big piss take. Of the lot though, I go for GT. Very clever and witty with it. Knows a lot about nothing much in particular
That's it for now
Being an old fart, how do you manage to still get women?
Ah, a nice easy one to kick off with. I often ask myself the same question. Charm, good looks, wit – I fail on all 3 counts. Perhaps it’s the offer of money that seals it? Seriously kids, just be yourself. And, as Thin Lizzy famously sang “If the chick don’t wanna know, forget her”
How many fishy’s fit on a little dishy, and why?
237. If you pile them on top of each other. Why? Because that’s the answer!
You turn gay! Which 606’er do you do( pick one, plus one back up)
This is one I’ve given a lot of thought to, and not just upon receiving the question. You have to prepare for every eventuality in life. First choice would have to be Cav. The bloke has such an amazing physique that I’m sure he gets the come on from both sexes all the time. And his openness about loving the colour pink shows how comfortable he is with his bi-sexuality. So Cav would be my choice for a long lasting intimate, loving relationship.
As a back up, I would need someone just to bum bash hard and fast for the sheer hell of it. Someone who would protest strenuously but really be loving it. Obviously must be Morton.
Compare the prowlers to sexual aids, explain each!
Gres – big, black mamba of a dildo. A giant amongst mere mortal dildos
Roaster – Rampant Rabbit. The original and most loved accessory
Peter – super deluxe blow up doll. Top of the range. All working parts. No need to get married again Pete!!!
Dan – butt plug. Sorry mate, but you’re a man u fan
Ster- a pocket pussy. For when infidelity isn’t an option, and some hot bird on a job clearly is trying to tell you something.
Pastie – stay hard cream. Comes when everyone else has finished for the night
What were his first impressions when he saw Spozz and Lollipop at the Leeds game?
First impressions were, as I expected, that they both were lovely. In both looks and personality. Spozz appears to be the same in real life as she is on here, very dry. Lollipop is just the sweetest girl in the world
Was he mad he missed the first Leeds goal?
Not mad exactly however slightly aggrieved seeing as I arrived at the ground about 5 hours before kick off to beat the queues. Lolly thought they said it was Moore who scored and we all fell about laughing hysterically at the thought. Little did we know what would follow. No, it was ok really
What are his feelings towards pigeons?
Pigeons are one of God’s creations and should be treated with respect. Unless of course one shits on your suit on the way to work in which case you shoot the bastard, make a lovely pie out of it and serve with seasonal vegetables and a nice bottle of Chablis. Aired to room temperature of course (the Chablis, not the pie and veg)
When are you expected to be valid for a bus pass and a pension book?
I believe that happens at age 65. In which case I have another 26 years to wait (fuck me, that doesn’t sound long)
Do you blame yourself for Leeds downfall seeing as there is an alarmingly similar rate of free fall between Leeds going down through the league table and you’re ever sagging man boobs?
Personally, I find the link between Leeds downfall and my man boobs is somewhat tenuous. And, I’ll have you know, my man boobs aren’t sagging at all. Quite pert in fact. No, the only person to blame is Peter Ridsdale.
What is lollipops phone number?
I made a vow to myself that I would answer each question completely honestly (or lie, depending on the question). Jen’s telephone no is 07….no I can’t, really I can’t
Beach volleyball?
a good sport or is it just men's new way of legally being able to watch bouncing mammories now that baywatch isnt shown on tv so much these days?
Excellent sport. The players need to be remarkably fit and also extremely talented. Granted, it also helps if the women are generously endowed in the boob department and have stunning good looks. But that is incidental. Can women not be appreciated for their sporting talents as opposed to mere sex objects? Nah, course not.
Name your 5 likes and dislikes in a woman
Likes
Nice arse
Nice legs
Nice tits
Nice eyes
Nice personality
Dislikes
The opposite of the above
Have you ever met a message board poster for the purpose of romance / sex ?
What do you take me for? No, don’t answer that. The 100% honest answer to that is no, I haven’t. Still time though
Can you ever see Leeds getting back in the premiership ?
Of course I can. Might not be this season or even next season but we will be back one day. We are a massive club but a sleeping giant. Once the finances are sorted, and a new manger is in situ, we will soon return to our rightful place in the top tier.
What's the most romantic gesture you've ever made?
When my wife (girlfriend at the time) was at university in York and living in halls, I surprised her by turning up for a long weekend and booking us into a posh hotel. Had also booked a nice restaurant, and that is where I proposed to her. What a bloody waste of money that turned out to be
According to your poll, you're a bit of a bastard, are you? Or do we just bring the best out in you?
Forgot to check the final result of that poll. Thanks for reminding me!!! I suppose it depends on your definition of a bastard. I’m principled, arrogant, blunt speaking and don’t suffer fools gladly. If that makes me a bastard, then yes I am. There are some great people on this board and yes, you do bring out the best (or worst depending on your viewpoint) in me.
We all know you're partial to the odd round of flirting but given the chance (no strings and all that shit) who would you shag? (Coz we all know you need one)
Now there’s a question and a half!!! Flirting is a way of life with me. Always done it and was 5 times as bad on the old BBC MB! It’s harmless fun but I would be mortified if anyone was to take it seriously! Ok, based on either looks and/or personality and regardless of the fact I am far too old for them and wouldn’t stand a chance I would have to say
Mrs H
SSW
Spurrsgirl
Sorry ladies!
Who in your opinion is the most intelligent poster on the board?
Difficult to say. Of the older ones, RJFC, Pastie and Peter seem like intelligent people. Morton’s not as daft as he makes out. Neku could well be intelligent if I understood what he was on about. MagicSkyBlue, A2V and Shippers are all clever guys too. And I have a very strong suspicion that Cav is a very bright chap and his MB persona is just a big piss take. Of the lot though, I go for GT. Very clever and witty with it. Knows a lot about nothing much in particular
That's it for now