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Post by Travis on Jan 8, 2008 18:34:08 GMT -1
The Monkey News is class!! ;D ;D You have plenty to hear Gres.... The monkey who interviews Cher on TV, the monkey who wins the London to Brighton cycle race and enters the Tour de France, the monkey who foils a bank robbery and makes off with the cash, the monkey who steals his owner's car and crosses the border to start a new life........ ;D ;D
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Post by Travis on Jan 8, 2008 18:36:55 GMT -1
The goat!!!!! ;D
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Post by GresleyRam©®™ on Jan 8, 2008 18:46:39 GMT -1
"why do they want a goat...milk right?? wouldnt it be easier to send em a bottle of milk and be done with it?" ;D ;D
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Post by Travis on Jan 8, 2008 18:51:02 GMT -1
"why do they want a goat...milk right?? wouldnt it be easier to send em a bottle of milk and be done with it?" ;D ;D "...and what about the goat? It was happy here, now it's on barren land!" ;D ;D ;D
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Post by GresleyRam©®™ on Jan 8, 2008 18:59:27 GMT -1
A Few Pilkington Quotes:* I scored once, and that's only because I was being chased by a bee." Karl's most vivid memory of playing football at school. * What were the things in 'Gremlins' called? * You never see a black ghost, do you?* One day, you'll be able to wake up and eat a yoghurt you can have a chat with ;D * It was bacteria, fish, mermaid, man, onwards and what have you. Karl ponders the stages of man's evolution. * They keep saying that sea levels are rising an all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science." ;D * On homosexuals- "I'm still none the wiser as to why they do that" ;D * "I was walking past a sex shop an' that. One, it was open early which I never understood, it was about eight o'clock in the morning. Who needs butt plugs then?" ;D ;D * On jellyfish - "They are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful." ;D GENIUS!
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Post by Travis on Jan 8, 2008 19:15:12 GMT -1
A Few Pilkington Quotes:* I scored once, and that's only because I was being chased by a bee." Karl's most vivid memory of playing football at school. * What were the things in 'Gremlins' called? * You never see a black ghost, do you?* One day, you'll be able to wake up and eat a yoghurt you can have a chat with ;D * It was bacteria, fish, mermaid, man, onwards and what have you. Karl ponders the stages of man's evolution. * They keep saying that sea levels are rising an all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science." ;D * On homosexuals- "I'm still none the wiser as to why they do that" ;D * "I was walking past a sex shop an' that. One, it was open early which I never understood, it was about eight o'clock in the morning. Who needs butt plugs then?" ;D ;D * On jellyfish - "They are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful." ;D GENIUS! A few more favourites..... "That's the problem with them fables, they're putting animals together that wouldn't meet. I don't know where a scorpion is knockin' around with a frog." "If i was him (Noah) i would have gone, "Hang on a minute, ive just seen somethin that looks a bit like this, let it drown", have a bit of a clear out, but he was messin about savin everythin" "But hummus. When did that happen?...but there's a restaurant down the road that that's all they do. That is isn't a proper meal, that's a side-order innit? That's like having a restaurant just floggin' tomato ketchup. Hummus isn't a meal. They don't even try and kid ya to get you in to flog you just hummus, they actually say "Oh it's hummus today." Not gonna work, they shut down within a month." On seeing an ultrasound picture- "It was an awkward situation because she was happy with it. I was like 'Oh God'. It was an odd looking thing. I couldn't say 'Oh, it looks like you' because that would be a dis." "I'd kick it, and I'd say 'You knob-head'." - Karl tells Ricky his response to being poisoned by an octopus. "People moan about drugs being tested on animals. I sort of think it depends innit. If the drug's aspirin and the monkey's got a headache, is it tight?" Talking about being in heaven- "It's not fair though because all them lot have been up there ages with like a chance to get a bit of sun on the body and that so they'll look alright. I'll be wandering about with underpant marks and stuff." ;D ;D ;D
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Post by GUPTA on Jan 8, 2008 20:43:11 GMT -1
pilkingtons a legend....anybody who gets confused by filling in a donor card and decides not to donate his eyes because he wouldnt want to come back as a blind ghost is just a genius....my favourite karl moment was when he was talking about his blind date he once had and gervais said "did you see her again?" and karl said "no she had a problem with her marrow".....
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Post by Travis on Jan 8, 2008 20:45:44 GMT -1
pilkingtons a legend....anybody who gets confused by filling in a donor card and decides not to donate his eyes because he would want to come back as a blind ghost is just a genius....my favourite karl moment was when he was talking about his blind date he once had and gervais said "did you see her again?" and karl said "no she had a problem with her marrow"..... You've got to admire the guys honesty! He didn't want to "spend money on her, just to have her die on me!" ;D The fact that he couldn't see anything wrong in that logic made it priceless! ;D
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Post by GUPTA on Jan 8, 2008 20:54:18 GMT -1
pilkingtons a legend....anybody who gets confused by filling in a donor card and decides not to donate his eyes because he would want to come back as a blind ghost is just a genius....my favourite karl moment was when he was talking about his blind date he once had and gervais said "did you see her again?" and karl said "no she had a problem with her marrow"..... You've got to admire the guys honesty! He didn't want to "spend money on her, just to have her die on me!" ;D The fact that he couldn't see anything wrong in that logic made it priceless! ;D it was when gervais says karl what a horrible thing to say what if shes listening and karl says oh she'll be dead now.....
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Post by Travis on Jan 8, 2008 20:58:04 GMT -1
You've got to admire the guys honesty! He didn't want to "spend money on her, just to have her die on me!" ;D The fact that he couldn't see anything wrong in that logic made it priceless! ;D it was when gervais says karl what a horrible thing to say what if shes listening and karl says oh she'll be dead now..... Didn't he lavish a packet of Fruit Pastilles on the lass too? What a waste!! ;D
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Post by CHOPPER READ on Jan 8, 2008 20:58:17 GMT -1
I will check him out tomoz if i have time.
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Post by GUPTA on Jan 8, 2008 21:03:20 GMT -1
imagine a big brother style programme of him and suzanne in the flat that would be compulsive viewing......just to see her haircuts to see if as karl is right when she says she looks like dave hill outta slade ;D ;D
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Post by Travis on Jan 8, 2008 21:03:50 GMT -1
I will check him out tomoz if i have time. Use the two Youtube links I've put up on the thread Chopper, they give the best indication of what he's about and how his mind works.
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Post by Travis on Jan 8, 2008 21:04:32 GMT -1
imagine a big brother style programme of him and suzanne in the flat that would be compulsive viewing......just to see her haircuts to see if as karl is right when she says she looks like dave hill outta slade ;D ;D .....and whether she has a fat arse! ;D
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Post by GUPTA on Jan 8, 2008 21:04:46 GMT -1
imagine a big brother style programme of him and suzanne in the flat that would be compulsive viewing......just to see her haircuts to see if karl is right when she says she looks like dave hill outta slade ;D ;D
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Post by GUPTA on Jan 8, 2008 21:06:38 GMT -1
suzannes actually a producer on match of the day......how she puts up with him i will never know ;D
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Post by GresleyRam©®™ on Jan 27, 2008 16:00:39 GMT -1
Gupta lent me Pilkingtons book 'Happyslapped By A Jellyfish' yesterday, and i read about half of it - its brilliant! Ity actually made me laugh out loud, and i had to read so many bits to Mrs G as she was curious and she laughed out loud as well! Class!
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Post by Travis on Jan 27, 2008 16:18:49 GMT -1
Gupta lent me Pilkingtons book 'Happyslapped By A Jellyfish' yesterday, and i read about half of it - its brilliant! Ity actually made me laugh out loud, and i had to read so many bits to Mrs G as she was curious and she laughed out loud as well! Class! Make sure you get hold of his first effort too Gres, a lot of it consists of transcripts of the podcasts, but it's still priceless!! ;D
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Post by Dr LuKas on Feb 4, 2008 9:17:38 GMT -1
Is there any where where I can listen to the second series or something. That link put up just went to where you could hear the first 10-12 episodes they've done. Starting in 2005, where are the newer ones.
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Post by Travis on Feb 4, 2008 11:30:34 GMT -1
Is there any where where I can listen to the second series or something. That link put up just went to where you could hear the first 10-12 episodes they've done. Starting in 2005, where are the newer ones. They are scattered all over YouTube Lucas, though broken up into 10 minute segments. They were easy to locate on the likes of Limewire too, and they can also be bought on iTunes, or they were the last time I checked. Alternatively, I have a dvd that contains all 3 seasons plus the one-off specials and the 92 XFM shows that I could do you a copy of. So how are you finding Pilkington? ;D
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