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Post by mortontheblade on Apr 10, 2006 22:29:27 GMT -1
Cartman: I've been keeping this place free of hippies since I was five and a half.
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Post by mortontheblade on Apr 10, 2006 22:29:49 GMT -1
Satan: Saddaam! You're back. I thought I killed you!
Saddaam: Yeah, well where was I gonna go, Detroit?
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Post by mortontheblade on Apr 10, 2006 22:30:13 GMT -1
Cop: I'm never going to frame another innocent man again! Unless I know he's black.
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Post by mortontheblade on Apr 10, 2006 22:31:14 GMT -1
Cartman: Damn, shit, respect my fuckin' authority!
Sadaam Hussein: Ahhh!
Cartman: Yes (zaps him)!
Sadaam Hussein: Hey, you need to watch your mouth, brat!
Cartman: Dog shit Taco (Zaps him again)!
Sadaam Hussein: Quick Satan, do something!
Cartman: Try this on for size. Blood-drenched, frozen tampon popsicle!
Sadaam Hussein: Hey buddy, I know I was mean before, but don't worry, I can change!
Cartman: Okay.
Not. Fuck, shit, cock, ass, dildo, boner, bitch, pussy, butthole, Barbara Streisand!
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Post by mortontheblade on Apr 10, 2006 22:31:53 GMT -1
Mr. Garrison: Hey, guess what everybody? I'm gay!
Principal Victoria: Mr. Garrison?
Mr. Mackey: What?
Mr. Garrison: I'm as gay as a gymnast on shore leave!
Principal Victoria: You admit it? You admit it!!!
Mr. Mackey: Oh, that's great, Mr. Garriosn. You've finally come to terms with yourself!
Mr. Garrison: Yeah, it feels really good!
Principal Victoria: Well, congratulations!
Mr. Mackey: Yeah, congratulations!
Mr. Garrison: You know, I feel like I can start anew. If it's not alright with you, I'd like to go back to teaching the third grade.
Principal Victoria: Oh. I'm sorry, we don't hire gay people.
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Post by mortontheblade on Apr 10, 2006 22:32:20 GMT -1
Stan: Hey, do you know where I can find the clitoris?
Cartman: What is that like finding Jesus or something?
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Post by mortontheblade on Apr 10, 2006 22:33:25 GMT -1
Jewish Kid: Is anyone else having problems concentrating on this? I just can't seem to concentrate.
Cartman: Maybe we should send you to a concentration camp
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Post by mortontheblade on Apr 10, 2006 22:34:09 GMT -1
Kyle: Wow! That's a lot of seamen, Cartman.
Cartman: Yeah, I bought all that I could at this bank, and then I got the rest from this guy Ralph in an alley.
Stan: That's cool.
Cartman: Yeah, and the sweet thing is, the stupid asshole didn't even charge me money for it. He just made me close my eyes and suck on a hose.
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Post by mortontheblade on Apr 10, 2006 22:34:24 GMT -1
Cartman: I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!
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Post by mortontheblade on Apr 10, 2006 22:34:49 GMT -1
Mr. Garrison: Does anyone know what sexual harassment means?
Cartman: When you are tying to have intercourse with a special lady friend and some other guy comes up and tickles your balls from behind.
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Post by mortontheblade on Apr 10, 2006 22:35:36 GMT -1
Cartman: It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a women's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.
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Post by mortontheblade on Apr 10, 2006 22:36:18 GMT -1
Cartman: Maury, I am out of control. Yeah, I use drugs. I can do what I waunt, biatch! Yeah, I have sex, and I don't use protection! It's my hot body; I'll do what I waunt! I don't go to school and I kill people! What-evah! I'll do what I waunt!
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Post by mortontheblade on Apr 10, 2006 22:36:38 GMT -1
Chef: Children, uh, what's the one thing that's more sacred to a man than anything else in the world?
Stan: Uh, bicycles?
Cartman: Ham?
Kyle: No, not ham, you fat fuck!
Cartman: Screw you! It's ham, isn't it?
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Post by mortontheblade on Apr 10, 2006 22:37:09 GMT -1
Cartman: Okay, Token, give me a sweet bass line.
Token: I don't know how to play the bass.
Cartman: Token, how many times do we have to go over this? You're black. You can play the bass.
Token: I'm really tired of your racist views on this.
Cartman: Well then, get tired of them after you give me a bass line!
Token: (Plays the bass expertly) Oh, Goddammit.
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Post by mortontheblade on Apr 10, 2006 22:37:30 GMT -1
Cartman: You so much at TOUCH kitty's ass, and I'll put a firecracker in your nutsack and blow your balls all over your pants.
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Post by mortontheblade on Apr 10, 2006 22:37:49 GMT -1
Cartman: Hippies.They're everywhere. They wanna save the earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad.
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Post by mortontheblade on Apr 10, 2006 22:38:23 GMT -1
Cartman: You seem a little irritable, Kyle. You got some sand in your vagina?
Kyle: There's no sand in my vagina!
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Post by mortontheblade on Apr 10, 2006 22:38:39 GMT -1
Officer Barbrady: You can't just lock 63 people in your basement.
Cartman: They're not people, they're hippies!
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Post by mortontheblade on Apr 10, 2006 22:39:09 GMT -1
Thumper: Hey, little dude! You've got some crap right here.
Butters: That's my face, sir!
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Post by mortontheblade on Apr 10, 2006 22:40:00 GMT -1
Randy Marsh: You see, Token, when a man and a woman really love each other, the man puts his penis into the woman's vagina. It's called 'making love,' and its normal.
Token: And when the woman has 4 penises in her, and then stands above the guys and pees on them, is that love making? Five midgets beating a man covered in Thousand Island dressing. Is that love making?
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