Post by Mrs H on Apr 7, 2006 13:53:21 GMT -1
Kman will know these well because they were created by the big man, myself and a few of the 'off on a tangent' people from BBC 606. Too funny not to share!
Stop Eating, You Fat Sack Of Monkey Shit - explicitly confrontational program in which army officers shout at blubbering masses of fat and jelly in order to get them to lose excess pounds.
Roy's Razorblade Rollneck Ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong - Roy Walker hosts this popular game show in which members of the public are placed in a rollneck sweater with razorblades on the neck, and then distracted by loud noises and colours to their left and right, hopefully cutting their jugular veins, sending hot lifeblood spurting into the screaming, orgasmic audience. The last man standing wins fellatio from Carol Vorderman or Dale Winton.
Who's That Ayatollah? - A panel of celebrities try to guess who the man in the Ayatollah costume is. Presented by Jimmy Fucking Carr.
Today, I Am A Big Girl - Harrowing documentary which tells the story of educationally-subnormal 31 year old, Mary Dewdrop, and her quest to lose her virginity. After an unsuccessful fumble with a bored milkman in her untidy front room, Mary takes off to the local playground, where she strips off and attempts intercourse with a startled 12 year old truantee. Warning: Contains strong language and footage of a real, live mong in sexual situations.
Simian ER - Fascinating footage from inside the Derbyshire Royal Infirmary's Accident and Emergency department, where staff cutbacks have forced the hospital management to employ semi-trained monkeys from a local zoo. High points include a 6-year old Colobus monkey throwing faeces at the victim of a savage beating; a man who cannot stop vomiting being urinated on by a chimp, and an innocent teenager in the waiting room being set about by an irate baboon.
Dooby Duck Disco Death Bus-Like the original only more death.
Oh Cum O ye Faithful-A christmas special with Jim Davidson just cumming over the audience for an hour and a half.
DogWatch-3 spaniels, 2 dobermans and a west highland terrier sit and watch you in a creepy Bride of Chucky way.
Beat-a-Max-A gameshow where Max from Hollyoaks is beaten with various artefacts. You start low with something like a piece of string up to a tank. The winner gets 3 weeks in solitary confinement.
My Daddy's got a Gun-A heartwarming Sunday afternoon drama about a young boy from Tring who Father is training to be an Olympic Cross Country Shooter and uses his son for target practice.
Have Sex with Anything-Channel 4 documentary about people who will have sex with anything. The documentary follows 3 people who struggle with their daily life as they rampantly mount anything. May contain explicit scenes of sex with a door knob, a bus and Geri Halliwell.
Jizz In Their Eyes - New Series. Unemployed Dave Hawkins from Inverness dresses as Buddy Holly before getting a shot of creamy lovejuice right in his eye, whilst schoolteacher Davinia Lewis from Hendon impersonates Gwen Stefani with a thick coating of semen on her face.
What The Anus Did For Us - Adam Hart-Davies introduces a new series which explores the role of the humble rectum in the shaping of society. This week - The Romans: Hart-Davies explains how slaves in ancient Rome were encouraged to work harder and faster by having red-hot pokers shoved up their fundaments.
Thrown a Googlie-Soap/Drama starring Les Dennis about Warwickshire County Cricket Club. Boris (Dennis) finds out that Laurie, the clubs seamer, is actually a spin bowler.
Snatchphrase - Roy walker hosts a TV show where contestants are to come up with the most hilarious suggestions for alternative words to lady garden
Get up you Dirty Wino - BBC2 Gilly Goulden tours the British Isles and sniffs the breath all winos from every major city in Britain. This week she will be sniffing the breath of a tramp from Bristol. She will get the smells of vomit, Special Brew and nut of a rare chinchilla.
Inspect Her Gadget- this week former Spice Girl Emma 'Baby' Bunton and Maureen Lipman bring in their collection of sex toys to be valued by the experts.
Wanking the Dead- heartwarming documentary following three young necrophiliacs as they struggle to come to terms with their condition. Narrated by Andrew Sachs.
Until It Bleeds: Deeply unconventional gameshow in which several 15 year old boys have to look at naked girls from their school and masturbate. The first one to draw blood from his meatus wins his own weight in caviar, plus an Xbox 360. Presented by Rowland Rivron.
Make Me A Muslim: Documentary which charts the efforts of three young white males from across the UK in their quest to enter the Islamic faith. This week, Imam Ibrahim Al-Haq forces Benjamin to stand on one leg for 3 hours before he'll let him enter the mosque, and James is reduced to tears when Sheik Abdallah Abd-Rahman takes his biscuits off of him, branding them 'unholy', only for him to clearly eat them later on. Contains that annoying woman in the corner of the screen for deafos.
Ram-a-Dan - Creepy Irish crooner Daniel O'Donnel will be repeatedly rammed into a wall. Today's he will be shoved towards the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem.
All That She wants is Another Baby - Ace of Base Lead singer introduces a disturbing documentary about Bernice Rothbottom who steals the sperm of unsuspecting men. She enters their houses at night and wanks them in their sleep, steals their sperm and the uses a turkey baster to impregnate herself. May contain images of flange.
Stop Eating, You Fat Sack Of Monkey Shit - explicitly confrontational program in which army officers shout at blubbering masses of fat and jelly in order to get them to lose excess pounds.
Roy's Razorblade Rollneck Ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong - Roy Walker hosts this popular game show in which members of the public are placed in a rollneck sweater with razorblades on the neck, and then distracted by loud noises and colours to their left and right, hopefully cutting their jugular veins, sending hot lifeblood spurting into the screaming, orgasmic audience. The last man standing wins fellatio from Carol Vorderman or Dale Winton.
Who's That Ayatollah? - A panel of celebrities try to guess who the man in the Ayatollah costume is. Presented by Jimmy Fucking Carr.
Today, I Am A Big Girl - Harrowing documentary which tells the story of educationally-subnormal 31 year old, Mary Dewdrop, and her quest to lose her virginity. After an unsuccessful fumble with a bored milkman in her untidy front room, Mary takes off to the local playground, where she strips off and attempts intercourse with a startled 12 year old truantee. Warning: Contains strong language and footage of a real, live mong in sexual situations.
Simian ER - Fascinating footage from inside the Derbyshire Royal Infirmary's Accident and Emergency department, where staff cutbacks have forced the hospital management to employ semi-trained monkeys from a local zoo. High points include a 6-year old Colobus monkey throwing faeces at the victim of a savage beating; a man who cannot stop vomiting being urinated on by a chimp, and an innocent teenager in the waiting room being set about by an irate baboon.
Dooby Duck Disco Death Bus-Like the original only more death.
Oh Cum O ye Faithful-A christmas special with Jim Davidson just cumming over the audience for an hour and a half.
DogWatch-3 spaniels, 2 dobermans and a west highland terrier sit and watch you in a creepy Bride of Chucky way.
Beat-a-Max-A gameshow where Max from Hollyoaks is beaten with various artefacts. You start low with something like a piece of string up to a tank. The winner gets 3 weeks in solitary confinement.
My Daddy's got a Gun-A heartwarming Sunday afternoon drama about a young boy from Tring who Father is training to be an Olympic Cross Country Shooter and uses his son for target practice.
Have Sex with Anything-Channel 4 documentary about people who will have sex with anything. The documentary follows 3 people who struggle with their daily life as they rampantly mount anything. May contain explicit scenes of sex with a door knob, a bus and Geri Halliwell.
Jizz In Their Eyes - New Series. Unemployed Dave Hawkins from Inverness dresses as Buddy Holly before getting a shot of creamy lovejuice right in his eye, whilst schoolteacher Davinia Lewis from Hendon impersonates Gwen Stefani with a thick coating of semen on her face.
What The Anus Did For Us - Adam Hart-Davies introduces a new series which explores the role of the humble rectum in the shaping of society. This week - The Romans: Hart-Davies explains how slaves in ancient Rome were encouraged to work harder and faster by having red-hot pokers shoved up their fundaments.
Thrown a Googlie-Soap/Drama starring Les Dennis about Warwickshire County Cricket Club. Boris (Dennis) finds out that Laurie, the clubs seamer, is actually a spin bowler.
Snatchphrase - Roy walker hosts a TV show where contestants are to come up with the most hilarious suggestions for alternative words to lady garden
Get up you Dirty Wino - BBC2 Gilly Goulden tours the British Isles and sniffs the breath all winos from every major city in Britain. This week she will be sniffing the breath of a tramp from Bristol. She will get the smells of vomit, Special Brew and nut of a rare chinchilla.
Inspect Her Gadget- this week former Spice Girl Emma 'Baby' Bunton and Maureen Lipman bring in their collection of sex toys to be valued by the experts.
Wanking the Dead- heartwarming documentary following three young necrophiliacs as they struggle to come to terms with their condition. Narrated by Andrew Sachs.
Until It Bleeds: Deeply unconventional gameshow in which several 15 year old boys have to look at naked girls from their school and masturbate. The first one to draw blood from his meatus wins his own weight in caviar, plus an Xbox 360. Presented by Rowland Rivron.
Make Me A Muslim: Documentary which charts the efforts of three young white males from across the UK in their quest to enter the Islamic faith. This week, Imam Ibrahim Al-Haq forces Benjamin to stand on one leg for 3 hours before he'll let him enter the mosque, and James is reduced to tears when Sheik Abdallah Abd-Rahman takes his biscuits off of him, branding them 'unholy', only for him to clearly eat them later on. Contains that annoying woman in the corner of the screen for deafos.
Ram-a-Dan - Creepy Irish crooner Daniel O'Donnel will be repeatedly rammed into a wall. Today's he will be shoved towards the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem.
All That She wants is Another Baby - Ace of Base Lead singer introduces a disturbing documentary about Bernice Rothbottom who steals the sperm of unsuspecting men. She enters their houses at night and wanks them in their sleep, steals their sperm and the uses a turkey baster to impregnate herself. May contain images of flange.