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Post by Dr LuKas on Aug 30, 2007 8:43:19 GMT -1
Ignor the poor structure, I don't dig poems most of the time, but I'm feeling creative.
Johnny asked me are you going to fly
Like you said you would
I said I can make it if I try like sly told me
I’ve got to live before I die
Ten states later
Johnny asks again
Will I make it to the Moon
I say ‘If I have to crawl’
They say you sure got the blues this morning
I say you guys need to wash it all away
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Post by jh1980 on Aug 30, 2007 8:51:29 GMT -1
More important than structure, or even rhythm or rhyme is spirit. There's something about that, it taps into some feeling, and the reference points make sense to me. In short, I like it  |
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Post by C@V on Aug 30, 2007 8:52:44 GMT -1
More important than structure, or even rhythm or rhyme is spirit. There's something about that, it taps into some feeling, and the reference points make sense to me. In short, I like it BLURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR **VOMITS** Get a room ladies! |
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Post by jh1980 on Aug 30, 2007 8:53:58 GMT -1
BLURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR **VOMITS** Get a room ladies! Insightful. |
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Post by Dr LuKas on Aug 30, 2007 9:12:03 GMT -1
I got another one, I'm sure it sucks but my mind keeps ticking this morning.
Wait a minute red hot mama
You know something’s wrong
If you want to play girl
You’ve got to be free
Go before it’s too late
That boy won’t hesitate
You won’t be played girl
If you’re living free
Girl walk out that door
You know what to do
Look in your soul
And don’t let it run cold.
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Post by jh1980 on Aug 30, 2007 9:17:40 GMT -1
I like the first stanza and the last one, the middle one less so... it feels like you've tried to force a rhyme there when the prose style was working better? You get what I mean? Still, only my opinion, like...  |
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Post by Dr LuKas on Aug 30, 2007 9:26:50 GMT -1
Ok dude well thanks for it, I think I'll try to stop now. I need a genuis to sort the shit in my head into something that actually works but nevermind. Off to Mars I go. |
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Post by jh1980 on Aug 30, 2007 9:28:57 GMT -1
A'ight, don't get discouraged though Sounds like a plan! |
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Post by C@V on Aug 30, 2007 13:37:23 GMT -1
BLURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR **VOMITS** Get a room ladies! Insightful. I thought so! Ok seriously here is a limerick for you all. There was a young man named Jules Who had microscopic balls The girls used to laugh When he stripped for a bath What inconsiderate fools |
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Post by jh1980 on Aug 30, 2007 13:41:06 GMT -1
I thought so! Ok seriously here is a limerick for you all. There was a young man named Jules Who had microscopic balls The girls used to laugh When he stripped for a bath What inconsiderate fools Derivative, Inept, Lacking merit. (And inaccurate, my balls are fine thank you very much!)  |
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Post by C@V on Aug 30, 2007 13:46:43 GMT -1
I thought so! Ok seriously here is a limerick for you all. There was a young man named Jules Who had microscopic balls The girls used to laugh When he stripped for a bath What inconsiderate fools Derivative, Inept, Lacking merit. (And inaccurate, my balls are fine thank you very much!) The size of your balls has no bearing on whether they are fine.......I'm sure they are. I must confess I just assumed they would match your microscopic penis! ;D |
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Post by jh1980 on Aug 30, 2007 13:50:17 GMT -1
I must confess I just assumed they would match your microscopic penis! ;D My goodness! How did you know?! Or who told you?! *fetches shotgun* |
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Post by C@V on Aug 30, 2007 13:51:09 GMT -1
I must confess I just assumed they would match your microscopic penis! ;D My goodness! How did you know?! Or who told you?! *fetches shotgun* Jules with boobs did! ;D |
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Post by Mrs H on Aug 30, 2007 13:59:11 GMT -1
Have you been on the naughty boy pills this afternoon Cav?
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Post by C@V on Aug 30, 2007 14:00:02 GMT -1
Have you been on the naughty boy pills this afternoon Cav? What? |
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Post by jh1980 on Aug 30, 2007 14:00:35 GMT -1
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Post by Mrs H on Aug 30, 2007 14:01:35 GMT -1
Have you been on the naughty boy pills this afternoon Cav? What? Twas a bit mean. |
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Post by C@V on Aug 30, 2007 14:03:01 GMT -1
If Jules can't handle a limerick thats not my problem. |
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Post by jh1980 on Aug 30, 2007 14:09:09 GMT -1
If Jules can't handle a limerick thats not my problem. Here's a joke: your wife told me you think the child is yours! "I'm glad we're so nice to each other eh?"  |
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Post by Fizzy Bread on Aug 30, 2007 14:13:26 GMT -1
Come on children, play nice! If you've nowt nice to say, don't say it at all! |
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Forever without exception. x
