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Post by Roaster©®™ on Jun 13, 2006 20:10:07 GMT -1
Have you heard about the new orgasm pill just approved by the FDA for women?
It comes with a 16 inch applicator ;D
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Jun 20, 2006 17:02:36 GMT -1
At a news conference, a journalist said to the politician running for mayor, "Your former secretary said publicly that you have a small penis... Would you please comment on this?"
"The truth really is," replied the politician, "That she has a big mouth."
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Jun 20, 2006 17:03:36 GMT -1
Two cows standing in a field. One turns to the other and says " Moo "
The other one says "Damn, I was just about to say that !"
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Post by redwhine on Jun 25, 2006 3:47:36 GMT -1
What's the difference between..........
Delia and a cross country run? One's a pant in the country.
A mountain goat and a new year's eve reveller in Trafalgar Square? One mucks about in fountains.
A counterfeit dollar and Kate Moss? One's a phoney buck.
A randy Austrian sea captain and a a very good vacuum cleaner? One sucks and sucks and never fails.
A nun at prayer and a nun in the bath? One has a soul full of hope. (Also on nun thread.)
Sheffield Wednesday and a bucket of shit? The bucket.
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Post by redwhine on Jun 25, 2006 3:55:19 GMT -1
Two drunks waking through a graveyard.
"Bloody hell!", exclaimed one. "This guy was 153 when he died!"
"What did they call him?"
"It just says he's called Miles and he's from London"
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Post by redwhine on Jun 25, 2006 4:02:57 GMT -1
Walking not waking. Sorry!
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Jun 26, 2006 16:09:00 GMT -1
A husband comes home and says to his wife" we've tried 69 lets try 68"
She says, "What's that?"
He says, " you blow me and I'll owe you one."
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Post by kinghornet on Jun 26, 2006 16:10:16 GMT -1
A husband comes home and says to his wife" we've tried 69 lets try 68" She says, "What's that?" He says, " you blow me and I'll owe you one." lol!
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Post by redwhine on Jun 26, 2006 21:15:59 GMT -1
BOOK TITLES.........
Skint. By Anthony Money
Breakfast in a Hurry. By Egbert Nobacon
Falling off a Cliff. By Eileen Dover
How a woman fell (in two parts)
Any More?
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Post by redwhine on Jun 26, 2006 21:22:53 GMT -1
What do you get if you cross............
The Atlantic with Richard Branson? Halfway!
A cricket with a wombat? A cricket wom. (A cricket bat would be too easy.)
An elephant with a mouse? Dirty big holes in your skirting boards.
A parrot with a gorilla? Dunno, but when it speaks, LISTEN!
Any More?
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Post by redwhine on Jun 27, 2006 16:17:13 GMT -1
Thin Lizzy: " Tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak, somewhere in this town" Try the jail, Phil.
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Post by redwhine on Jun 28, 2006 19:06:51 GMT -1
Schoolkid ; "Would you punish someone for something they hadn't done?"
Teacher ; " Of course not. That would be terrible"
Schoolkid ; "In that case, I haven't done my homework, sir."
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Post by weallloveleeds on Jun 28, 2006 20:00:01 GMT -1
it's graham poll's wedding anniversary next week. He's bought hs wife a card. but he forgot to send it off!
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Post by redwhine on Jun 30, 2006 5:35:36 GMT -1
What have you got if you've got a cricket ball in your right hand and a cricket ball in your left hand?
A very worried cricket!
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Post by Roaster©®™ on Jul 5, 2006 12:50:40 GMT -1
According to my mother, she and Dad decided to start a family soon after he became an officer in the Air Force. When months went by without success, they consulted the base physician, who chose to examine Mom right then and there.
"Please disrobe," he told her.
"With him in the room??" she yelled, pointing to my father.
Turning to Dad, the doctor said, "Captain, I think I found the problem."
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Post by redwhine on Jul 9, 2006 14:03:17 GMT -1
A toad and a frog are at the doctor's, each having a sexually transmitted disease. The toad is seen first.
"I can tell from the yellow colour of your penis that I cannot help you." says the doctor, "You need to see the Wizard of Oz." And with that the toad left.
The frog's turn : "I can see from the colour of your penis that I cannot help you. You must see the Wizard of Oz."
"How do I get there?" asked the frog.
"Just follow the yellow pricked toad."
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Post by redwhine on Jul 9, 2006 14:58:53 GMT -1
What is...
1) the name of a fish which starts and ends with a 'k'?
2) a 13 letter word that starts and ends with an 'n', and means constipation.
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Post by redwhine on Jul 9, 2006 15:00:16 GMT -1
1) Kilmarnock. It's a plaice in Scotland.
2) NNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by redwhine on Jul 10, 2006 7:48:05 GMT -1
No wonder Johnny Foreigner gets the wrong idea.
We describe ourselves as a nation of dog lovers, and then we shamelessly enter our dogs at Crufts.
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Post by Neko Bazu on Jul 12, 2006 13:56:36 GMT -1
It was Vincent Van Gogh's birthday - he was so happy, he was smiling from ear to.
There are 10 types of people in this world - those that know binary and those that don't.
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